I'm Not A Doctor Nor Do I Play One On Television

Wow! I had no idea that so many of you would write to me about your own health concerns. It looks like a lot of us need some help.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and the last biology course I took was in the 7th grade, entitled "Life Sciences", and I did cut up a frog, yuk, and I made an "A" in the course. Now put your hands together for a round of applause. Impressive achievement to be sure, but I cannot give medical advice! However, I do have a few ideas.....

Thanks for the suggestion that I get tested for celiac disease. Jane wrote me about that awhile back, and I checked the symptoms out. I don't think I have it based on what Dr. Google says but I am going to get tested for that when I see my GP again. Who knows? My doctors just throw up their hands and write prescriptions. Fortunately they both know me well for many years and know that I'm not a chronic complainer--10 years without any serious complaints and now I'm in there every few weeks asking if they can amputate my legs or something.

I diagnosed myself with fibro after I had the mapping done. There are no tests for it. It's a disease of elimination--patient comes in hurting, tests are run, they're normal, patient is sitting there staring at you, fibro seems to come to mind. My GP thought it might be fibro and started poking me like the Pillsbury Doughboy. You're supposed to have pain in like, eighteen or so "trigger points." I didn't have that much pain in my torso, but I reminded him that I was on so many painkillers that if he ran a knife through me I'd probably just giggle helplessly. We haven't discussed the fact that I now believe I have it face to face yet, but he was nice enough to call in a prescription for Lyrica anyway and we'll be meeting again at the end of the month at which time I will show him the map.

Ok, so there is no test. They are working on a blood test for it, and that will be a great day when it's ready.

The guai website has a list of doctors and mappers that you can visit, and I SUGGEST YOU DO SO!!! The "mappers" are people trained to feel you up all over and see if they find swollen areas that they call "lesions" or "deposits." This is phosphate and the guai slowly pulls it out of your bones and muscles while you writhe in agony and reach for the pain medicine. Feeling extra pain is part of the protocol and is called "cycling." Different parts of your body hurt at different times as the guai pulls out the excess phosphate from that area. You're "cycling" that part of your system.

Remember that the guai treatment has not been accepted as legitimate by the mainstream medical community as of 2007. Top secret studies are being conducted in California as we speak by respected scientists but they are in progress. So you may have to hunt around for a doctor that will accept this protocol. I found another website with some doctors and mappers.

So--Good luck to you, write me and let me know how you get along, and take your guai! And remember you must eliminate sals!!

Also, here's a great website with ridiculously good looking people on it. Mom and son have fibro and they are doing much better. Note that she's been using guai for years and still has years to go. It is not an overnight cure. Visit them and say hi!

Update: Remember, it's not just taking Mucinex. ps. GET THE EXTENDED RELEASE ONES. YOU MUST ELIMINATE SALYCILATES FROM TOUCHING YOUR SKIN, and STOP TAKING MEDICINES CONTAINING THEM OR HERBAL PILLS. NO MORE ASPIRIN, ALKA-SELTZER, PEPTO BISMOL, MENTHOL CIGARETTES! You must wear gloves while touching plants. No walking barefoot on the grass. Ibuprofin is fine. You must check your makeup, mouthwash, toothpaste, soap, hairspray, herbal pills (no garlic, no valerian root), suntan lotion, EVERYTHING for salycilates (plant material)!!!!! Otherwise you are blocking the action of guai and wasting your money on it. Please go here for more information. I know it looks overwhelming at first, but it's really easy. Simply print out a list of the approved products and go shopping. I found everything I needed at Walmart. I bought a huge box of Ivory Soap and took some to work also. The cheapest products are often just fine. For instance, Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo is fine. I have Tom's Silly Strawberry Toothpaste--NO MENTHOL TOOTHPASTE. God, it tastes awful. I bought Citrus Scope Mouthwash at Bi-Lo. That is about the only mouthwash you can use. But it tastes great! You may already have ok products but you must read the labels. The board is very helpful and there's a fibro list you can join here . The moderators are very helpful for us newbies. They will help you if you have a question about a particular product but frankly I found it easier to just toss my old stuff and buy new (cheap) stuff.

I suggest that you find a babysitter before you go to buy new supplies armed with your new lists. My family became very restless as I carefully selected products from my notebook. And you do get some stares!!! People stared and I told them I was allergic. That satisfied their curiosity, I guess.

Update: Here's another list of doctors.