I love to read, always have. I read while driving (at stoplights) If I could figure out a way to read while taking a shower or engaging in marital relations, I would. (Perhaps a waterproof cover for both....hmmm).
Meredith is still struggling with reading. I was making her read a little every day for practice. She's quite an obliging child, but something occurred to me one day.
I want her to enjoy reading.
If someone made me run around the block (shudder) or play volleyball (double shudder) or cook every day (triple shudder) "to practice" wouldn't I develop a deep and intense hatred of it?
This reminds me somehow of a Dear Abby thread years earlier about piano lessons. Dear Abby firmly believed that kids should 1. take piano lessons and 2. be forced to practice. She got loads of letters from people who claimed that they were glad that Mom made them practice.
Well, blech.
I asked her.
"Do you think reading is fun?"
"No," she cheerfully replied.
I stopped making her practice. School starts in a month. Let her have a short break.
Am I doing the right thing? If you disagree, let me know! 
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24 comments:
I'm a readaholic too. When there's nothing convenient to read, i read labels (shampoo bottles in the shower, cereal boxes while I'm eating breakfast... even if I've read them a hundred times before).
As to whether you're doing the right thing..? Absolutely. You're following your instinct.
I previously worked as an education adviser for literacy, supporting schools and teachers mostly around the teaching of reading. To help kids read, it's not only about them reading. It's vital that they see you reading and also that you read to them / with them. Sounds like you've got that covered!
I struggle with the same issue. My son is 13, and a good reader who only *loves* to read comics and field guides. I made him read the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan- and he devoured those 3 books in 4 days, and thanked me for it. But he doesn't read for pleasure as a rule, and I am, like you, reluctant to force the issue for fear of making it worse. He sees me reading constantly but so far it hasn't rubbed off. I wish I had a good answer, but I don't.
I love to read and it is hard to understand those who don't but I have one daughter who reads everything and one who doesn't read enough to say so. One thing I remember from when I was a child was how much I liked being read to. Maybe you want to find some good stories and read them to her. At least it will be a nice sharing time. Good luck!
I wonder if (when she's just a little older) she would like the nifty graphic novel adaptations of The Babysitter's Club. I was a huge fan of the books when I was younger and really enjoyed the adaptation.
I came here late to see what the other commenters say and I may blog this concern myself.
You might remember, my son is a sweet and well behaved kid who naturally makes good grades.
However, unlike ex or I as kids or me now, my son doesn't pick up a book without a threat. We fear what we consider his lack of motivation. I do get him animal magazines and he'll look at those for the pictures. However, it's not a matter of him being able to read.
As a parallel example, I have regaled him about how his father and I used to pour over our scout books (reading!) in order to actively figure out getting done our next badge. J is perfectly content to let us or the den decide his next activity, never even picking up the book unless I trick him somehow.
Like your example, and I've fretted the issue, he starts violin in the fall through school. After years of prepping him that it'll happen in the 4th grade and him coming on board with it over the last six months, I almost dread it. I know he will not be motivated to practice.
Do I allow him to fail on his own? How do I milk the motivation? I do not want to pay him, the only thing that seems to motivate him. I've called him "My Little Capitalist" for years.
I keep waiting on something besides xbox and tv to click!
Same boat here, my oldest does not enjoy reading. I hate to force it, but her grades made us (teacher and I) try different things. We took her requirement down to ten minutes a day (everyone else has to do 30 minutes). Then we tried having her read out loud to me ten minutes. Then we tried comic books. What finally worked was less pressure AND finding something she was really interested in. I got her a subscription to Cat Fancy, which is a bit specialized (aimed at breeders), but she reads it because she loves it. Every word, even the ads.
A vacation might work for you, but you could also spend the time looking for reading material on something she's really passionate about. Good luck!
I'm a readaholic, too. So much so that I work at a library in order to be close to books more of the time. When I was little, I struggled with dyslexia and hated reading. Around second grade I made a major leap and fell in love with books.
Practicing could lead to a love of reading or just as easeily, heatred of reading. It's such a fine line. You know your kid the best. At worst, I don't think letting her take a month off from reading will hurt her developmentally in any way. She'll be alright.
There used to be computer games that required a lot of reading to complete. These were both fun and tricking the child into reading, and encouraging them to read better to do better in the game. Some of them even required the child to type the next move in the game such as "go in the room" if you could find this type of game maybe that would help.
Been there, done that. I absolutely think you are doing the right thing. My husband and I are both readers. So is middle child. The other two hated to read when they were younger, both are dyslexic and it was a huge struggle. I read to them and eventually just backed off all together.
They are now all 3 in their 20's. Numbers 1 and 3 have begun reading for pleasure and I am convinced it is because we allowed them to come to it on their own.
last year connor was in a reading program in the summer that was once a week for 2 hours and he really liked it but it interfered with any weekly activity (like a week long camp) for the 5 weeks he was in it. this year we didn't do it because of that and he is not reading as much but he does read in bed at night. and we still read to him a lot. i would try to find the one thing she is really interested in (like ms cellania said) get stuff about that and let that be her motivation for now. when i was young i loved to read but i was in the 'poor' readers group (i could not read out loud to save my life). i used to sneak books out of the library that they deemed 'too hard' for me to read. i still love to read and still can't pronounce (or spell) half the words i am sure. some how life goes on...kris
you are doing the right thing, and I hope it works so I can remind myself to emulate it with all the things I wish my kid wanted to do but she doesn't want to do them at all.
I love to read and read anything and everything. I always have. Still, I can't imagine being forced to do it making anyone like it.
You let her relax, let the school set the rules. I do love Misscellania's idea of finding something she likes and getting ehr some reading material just about that, I imagine that would help, but even for that I'd wait until school starts-- tie it to her assignments, as a way of making them more bearable. A reward rather than a threat, more or less.
I think you are.
I finally got my son to read by reading a book to him until he was very interested in seeing how the story ended then I would stop reading the book and tell him to read it himself to see what happened. It wasn't long before he was reading all the time. Also I always let him stay up 30 extra mintues to read in his bed at night. He is 36 now and still loves reading.
De-lurking because of what anonymous said - that is exactly the same way I got my boyfriend to read the only book he has ever finished in the last 10 years (The DaVinci Code). My younger sister never liked reading either, until she met Harry Potter. As others have said, finding an interesting topic might be the key!
Oh, and also - I *did* develop a deep and intense hatred of piano lessons! And basketball! My mother mandated participation in those activities for about 7 years after I foolishly asked to start them as a kid. I swear, if I had a time machine, there's a thing or two I'd like to tell my nine-year-old self...
I've read your blog for over a year and love your take on things. I can't not comment on this subject since it is near and dear to me...Read to her as much as possible in order to keep her interested in the magic and power of books. If/when she watches TV, keep the text feature on, no matter what show is on. In the interim, consider having her evaluated at a university multidisciplinary center (very good and very cost effective compared with private evaluations). My daughter was struggling with reading and actively angry at 'practice'. Her first grade teacher suggested an evaluation and I was somewhat put-out by this since my child was clearly very bright. In end, I did have her evaluated, if only to assuage the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. She was found to have a very superior IQ AND a learning disability; hence all her frustration was compounded. Gifted/LD is a challenge but an interesting one. Don't 'wait and see'. The window of opportunity is narrow. Public schools drag their feet on this. Even though my husband is an attorney, we had to do a lot of fighting to get what she needed. Good luck and best wishes.
It seems to me it's hard to really assess whether a child who struggles to read doesn't like to read, or doesn't read because it's such a struggle.
My 13 year old daughter has a reading/comprehension/auditory processing problem. We've now got her in reading tutoring 3x week and P.T. once a week. She told us this summer that she likes to read more now that it's not so hard. We are going to get her text books on CD for next year and hopefully get the novels for her as well.
Were I to get to do it over again, knowing what I know now, I'd have moved into the Alphabetic Phonics much sooner and been much more aggressive with the school system. Her teachers told us many things, and we've had her tested several times over the years but the bottom line is she needs intensive help to even begin to stay even with her classmates. It has been a long and arduous process and we aren't anywhere near the end but I think we may finally be on the right track.
YMMV but I think the longer you wait, the worse it will get.
Another avid reader here, but I remember being so frustrated in 1st grade! I was just not getting some of it, and it was wearing on my self-esteem. I now suspect there were (and are) some lingering processing issues. But in any case, I remember in 2nd grade having access to lots of paper to "make books" with my own stories, illustration et al. That really got me into the reading when I was able to make my own books. I think my teacher also had our parents take pictures of our life to create a story that was our own. I'm in admiration of how the teacher came up with multiple ways to let us take ownership of our own reading. This on top of our parents reading nightly to us well into late elementary school. Now you can't stop me from reading. I also read vast volumes and quanitities for sheer escapism purposes, which was not a bad thing.
I don't disagree at all with what you've decided. As one educator once told me: try *something* then evaluate and adjust as necessary according to your observations. I'd think it more damaging to hold to a course that did not seem to be working or was leading to frustration, so kudos to you for trying something "new." I admire your parenting style!
Favorite 'activity' disguised as creative fun: Give her a camera and let her take pictures of whatever she wants in order to make her own 'book'. Let her draw in it, label things and tell her own story (stay away from all expensive pre-cut scrapbook stuff). DON'T correct her spelling. Then let her read the story to you, her sister, dad, the dog...anyone who will listen patiently. IDEA: sidewalk chalk messages on the driveway. IDEA: put her in charge of making the grocery list, even if she just draws a picture of the item. The hook here could be that she gets to pick something special, just for her, that she wants from the store as a reward for this task. Does she like music? Print the lyrics to her favorite pop songs so that she can sing along.
I hated to read. Hated it growing up. Nothing interested me at all. Nothing. I found it boring and useless. I did fine in school as I could read okish and get by. My parents put pressure on me but I think if they found stuff I would like and maybe read to me (even at an older age) I would have liked it better.
Now in college I started actually liking to read and doing it for fun and now I can speed read a really good book. So, follow your gut. And give her a break and then figure out a way to find something interesting to her I guess.
Read to her as much as you can. Take turns reading. Get "stuck on a word" and have her help you using phonics and or context. Kids who say they don't like to read tend to say that because it is hard! First graders love that sassy Junie B. Jones! Have fun
M
Hello, a lurker here! You did the right thing absolutely! She's definitely going to hate reading if she's forced. The only thing I would do is just continue reading to her. It's ok if she doesn't end up enjoying reading: my husband doesn't enjoy reading & he does just fine.
Lorrie, I have the same issue with my oldest. I make her do it so she can get better at comprehension skills. She's always been a "fast" reader, but her comprehension is the pits. But if you stuck a science book in front of me and told me to read it, my comprehension would suck too, just because I'd want to read the words as fast as possible to get it over and done with, and I think that's her problem too. She's my active kid, and if it involves anything sports related or crafty, she's all for it, but ask her to sit in a chair by herself, not talk to anyway and read. Blech. She hates it. So, all that to say, I've stopped making her practice too. One day I hope she'll get the story lines behind the words, and actually enjoy it.
When we were younger, my mother would read to my sister and me every night. She read fun books, and if we wanted, we could take the book into bed with us to sneak a peek at the next instalment. That's how I taught myself to read, actually. She continued doing it long after we both could read, and it was a great way to foster reading pleasure.
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