Certificate Of Citizenship

home at last! November 2001

The INS is getting ready to jack the price of a Certificate of Citizenship up to $460.00 from $215.00. Now if you have never adopted internationally, just click away right now. If you have adopted after 2004, you were lucky enough to have one sent to you in the mail by the ever obliging and highly efficient (sarcasm) INS. However, if you don't have one for your IA child, here is your last chance to do it at the lower rate.

I know I'd rather send my husband for an evening of watered down drinks and lap dances with sleazy strippers (at least somebody would be happy) than send one more dollar to the INS but your kid needs a COC. No, a US passport is not enough. The article I linked to contains many horrific scenarios, like what if your kid gets arrested and faces deportation? Nobody likes to think of stuff like that, but heck, it has happened to others. Do it For The Kid. What's an extra two hundred dollars or so? Remember back when thousands of dollars flew through your eager hands while you happily anticipated a cuddly bundle of joy? I do. The first cuddly bundle of joy just got her glasses today and I'm working on a glasses post. Such are the thrills around here. Also, I'm taking Armour Thyroid now and I like it much better than Synthroid.

Now here is some help for you from Legal-Eaze:

Patti has just updated her website to include a sample copy of the N600 - Application for Certificate of Citizenship. Now, along with being able to download a kit to file for the COC, you can also see a sample completed form. It should make things much easier to complete and send in. Just go to http://www.legal-eaze.com/ and click on "Post Adoption Services". Scroll down to "Certificate of Citizenship".

Remember the forms must be postmarked by no later than July 29, 2007 in order to be accepted with the $215 application fee. Applications postmarked July 30 or later will be charged $460.

Can I BUY A BREAK?????

Saint that I am, I finally capitulated to the pitiful pleas and arranged a delightful pool party for the little darlings. The water was refreshing, the weather was perfect, the company was scintillating, and healthy snacks were served.

The darlings showed their gratitude by helpfully stuffing all the extra trimmings from the celery stalks down the disposal. They were really trying to help but....unfortunately the disposal uttered a massive groan and died. I like to think it didn't suffer too much.

The plumber bill? $368.00

Next time I'm serving Moon Pies and Dr. Pepper.

My Tiny Clone or: Red Thread Strikes Again!

Date: 1967 My age: 8

Place: Driving home from eye doctor.

Participants: Father and Me

Father: How do you like your new glasses, Lorrie?

Me: I love them! I can see the leaves on the trees....

Father: I want you to take very good care of those glasses. You do not have to wear them at all times..

Me: But I want to! I can see so much better!!!

Father: I understand. But I need you to take very good care of those glasses. I'm a struggling PhD student and we don't have a lot of money to live on. If you lose or break those glasses, I will have to pay to replace them. If I have to pay to replace them, we will lose our home and be thrown out on the street, we will not have enough money to pay for food or any other basic necessities of life, and soon buzzards will begin circling our starving bodies waiting until we take our last painful breaths before diving in to begin feasting on our rotting flesh. Do you understand?

Me: OH YES FATHER!!! I DO!!!!!

And that is why I have them in my hands as I write this. I also have the 1/3 inch long scissors that were a reward from the dentist for no cavities when I was 5. I overheard my dad joking to the receptionist that he'd be surprised if I could find them one week later.

I had something to prove. (cough)

Anyway, back to the present.

Madeleine is experiencing eye problems.

She is me, a carbon copy of me. My clone.

"Wouldn't it be funny if she could even wear my glasses," I joked to Roger as I pulled them out from the bureau. "Don't be silly," he replied.

Do I even have to tell you what the result was? However, we're off the the optometrist to get her a pair that will not be quite so retro-chic.

Do you want to take any bets how close the prescription will be?

Yep, It Will Be A New School

Yes, Meredith will be attending a new school in the fall. So will Madeleine. Public school. Our Lady Of Perpetual Tuition is a lovely little school, but my Health Crisis has forced us to scale back from Frugal to Maniacally Frugal. No big deal. We live in a district with excellent public schools. Ironically, the only reason we live here is because I wanted a swimming pool and this neighborhood had affordable houses with swimming pools back in 1995.

Right now the plan is for me to go back to work in the fall (oh PLEASE let me feel better by then). Roger is already receiving a retirement stipend from taking an early retirement package from the State of SC. He was working full time to supplement it, but we can't live like that any more. I mean, we just can't do it. There is no way that I can hold up my end of the bargain on getting four people to four different places (work, school) every day and picked up, crawling through evening traffic, any more. So Roger has quit his full time job and will be looking for a p/t job with hours that will allow him to get the kids to school (the SAME ONE THANK YOU LAWD) and pick them up in the afternoon. Without paying private tuition, afterschool care, etc. we'll almost be at the same level of income/outgo even if Roger doesn't get a job.

A few questions:

If you've been hypothyroid, how long did it take before you feel better? I've been on Synthroid for two weeks and I don't feel much better. HELP! (I know all the websites say anywhere from a month to four months). I am so tired of being so tired and hurting.

Has anyone tried Thyromine? I can't find a single site that isn't an advertisement.

Update: I'm on 75mcg starting dose & will return for blood tests on June 28. I'm sure my doc will bump doses as needed. She is very patient friendly.

PS To people who have the symptoms--Remember that blood tests are not always the be-all and end-all. Also, the "normal" range of TSH levels is now 3. It used to be 5. My doctor told me that my thyroid was tested in 1999 with a level of 4.7 which would today be "hypo" but in 1999 was considered "normal." I was put on Paxil for panic attacks, and I'm certain that if I had been put on thyroid medication I would have been a lot better off. Shortness of breath is a classic symptom of hypothyroidism. Paxil added 30 lbs that took me a year to lose.

Find a doctor who will listen to you, and treat your symptoms, not your test results!! And read this site: http://thyroid.about.com/

What's Up

Thanks again for all the support. Pain: continues but is better. Energy level: Getting better. This morning I had to go to the local hospital for the ACTH Stim test. Whatever.

Times they blew the IV insertion: Four
Times they couldn't get blood out: One
Times I bawled my eyes out: Twenty-seven

I mean, there was this elderly gentleman next to me getting chemotherapy for cancer, and here I am still relatively healthy, with no life threatening disease, just one that is (currently) RUINING my life, and....well, let me just say THIS: when I am old and dying my children will be exchanging bitter emails about what a PITA they have for a mother and is the paltry inheritance I'll be leaving them REALLY worth it, because I obviously don't have the wherewithal to be a cheery good sport about waking up every day and swallowing ginormous amount of medical substances and still having achy-breaky legs and.....let's talk about the KIDS!!!

Here is Madeleine. Madeleine completed the third grade with the usual accolades: GENIUS! FABULOUS!! OMG!!! We attended the end of school awards ceremony yesterday and she wore a hole in her shoe parading up and down collecting papers. Naturally in today's Culture Of Self Esteem every child received numerous awards for things like clipping their cuticles properly and breathing on cue from every teacher at the school. I poked Roger and wondered if the janitor, I mean Sanitation Engineer, was going to get up and present awards for Best Wiper and Most Judicious Use Of Paper Towels, and he shifted uncomfortably and moved several inches away from me.

So Madeleine has the following:
Best Data Helper (computer lab)
Highest Average-Spelling
Highest Average-Reading
Highest Average-Language Arts
Highest Average-Math
A/B Honor Roll (Missed the A roll by a "B" in Social Studies. The lazy little genius had to actually study for the first time and seemed amazed that every single fact in the world wouldn't automatically jump into her brain after a cursory perusal of the information.) She earnestly attempted to explain that she felt that she was suffering from "short term memory loss" which earned my award to her for:
Best Excuse For Laziness


And the lovely lady above is Meredith. I can't get Blogger to separate the pictures, so what-EVAH.

Meredith's evaluation read: Meredith is consistent in all her work. Her reading continues to improve along with her grasp of new math concepts. She has shown great improvement in her writing skill in her cursive writing. She seems to enjoy it much more now.

There was just one tiny thing missing from the report: PROMOTED TO SECOND GRADE.

Yep, she's being held back. Or, if you want to know what they called in back in the old days, SHE FLUNKED FIRST GRADE.

It's ok. She won't be 7 until September 28, and she is really struggling with reading. I am in complete agreement with the decision.

She's not happy with herself though. Don't tell me that kids don't put pressure on themselves. She is one of those kids who tries at all times to do her very best and really has to try, unlike some people in the family (see: Lazy Genius). We're pumping sunshine up her as fast as we can, but every time we cheerfully praise her for her hard work and achievement, she sighs sadly and her lip trembles.

And that is the way things are around Chez Clueless.

thyroid 101

hot time summer in the city back of my neck getting dirt & gritty

from the internet:

Hypothyroidism is a condition in which the thyroid gland fails to produce enough thyroid hormone.

The thyroid gland, located in the front of the neck just below the larynx, secretes hormones that control metabolism.

Hypothyroidism, or underactivity of the thyroid gland, may cause a variety of symptoms and may affect all body functions. The body's normal rate of functioning slows, causing mental and physical sluggishness.

I have had all these symptoms, in varying degrees, for YEARS.
Weakness
Fatigue
Cold intolerance
Constipation
Weight gain (unintentional) (like weight gain is ever intentional? pardon me while I try to control my hysterical laughter)
Depression
Joint or muscle pain
Thin, brittle fingernails
Thin and brittle hair
Paleness
Puffy face, hands and feet
Decreased taste and smell
Thinning of eyebrows
Overall swelling
Muscle spasms (cramps)
Muscle pain
Muscle atrophy
Uncoordinated movement
Joint stiffness
Dry hair
Hair loss
Drowsiness
Appetite loss

It was my damn thyroid.

I'm taking Synthroid, although the internet is plastered with information about something called Armour which is supposed to be totally like awesome. Who knows? All I know is that after three days of Synthroid I'm starting to feel like a functioning human being again.

It hardly needs to be said that I'm appreciative of all the support and that hopefully you can look forward to a healthy (ha! I KILL MYSELF) dose of the old Clueless soon.