I Can See Clearly Now

That's my baby shoes (Margaret Lorraine) and my daughter's (Madeleine Margaret ) in the picture.

Imagine me running through the misty dawn twirling ecstatically as soft music plays in the background as we do a wrapup here.

I started this believing that it would be an interesting exercise and instead it has changed my life.

I did not realize what a shadow my sad beginning left on me. I bought the party line that my life really began on February 21, 1959, the day I was picked up at Retreat For The Sick Hospital by my new parents.

I had a fever burning inside me.

I raced through high school in three years.

I raced through college in three years.

I raced through law school in 2 1/2 years.


I can see now that I was terrified of becoming my mother, unwed, pregnant, and disgraced. 

After I finally managed to collect enough diplomas to assure a future for my hypothetical child, my ambition and my fever and my thirst and my desire to make it to the top simply melted away. 

This all sounds sort of elementary, doesn't it? 

But I was told since day one that I had a new life the day that I was adopted. And yes, my parents were everything that you think parents should be. 

Ok, they had their small flaws (cough) alilbit crazy mom (cough) hypochondriac (cough) tightwads (cough) ridiculously overprotective (cough) I could go on but I have the desire to inherit 1/2 of the estate (cough) ...anyway, they were glorious, delightful, funny humans who showered me with endless love.

It just never hit me that I was overcompensating for my birth by being The Best Little Girl In The World and The Youngest Lawyer In The World.

Now it has, and my next post will be the letter I received from my birthmother in 1992. Then it is back to 2006. 

I hope you'll keep reading!! Thank you for the support. Who's got the BEST commenters on the internet? Not you, Jane! (I stole that line from her)

I DO!!!!