I lived in Noo Yawk for several years, so I got to observe the natives first hand. And of course I grew up in South Carolina.
Y'ALL
Y'all is never proper when addressing one person. That's a mistake a lot of damnyankees make.
WRONG: To one person: How are y'all today?
RIGHT: Y'all is always the appropriate address when addressing more than one person. To a group: Hey, y'all...Let's go get some barbecue!
THANKING A MAN:
Ah declare!
In the North, that means: Take off all your clothes immediately and cue the porn music.
In the South that means: Thanks.
THANKING A WOMAN:
I swan! You're just the most precious thang to do that for me!!
In the North, that means: I'm on serious drugs.
In the South that means: Thanks.
ASKING FOR A PROFESSIONAL FAVOR:
Ah'm AWFULLY sorry to bothah ya when ah know you're so busy, but would ya mind doin' this lil' ol' teeny favah for me?
In the North that means: I'm a hopeless wimp.
In the South that means: Type this up immediately or you're fired.
COMPLIMENTING A WOMAN:
Oh my gosh! You look so BEAUTIFUL today! That dress just flattahs y' figure to DEATH!!!
In the North that means: A girl-on-girl kiss may be in your future.
In the South that means: I like your dress.
WHAT DID YOUR MAN DO THIS WEEKEND?
He went huntin'.
In the South that means: There's fresh meat in the freezer.
In the North that means: There's fresh meat in his bed.
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13 comments:
I'm fixin' ta laugh until my britches split. Goodness! I think I'll have a Coke.
Lawdamussy, I'd reckon you got that right! You ARE just the sweetest lil blogger EVAH!
Hey Lorrie (and Julianna)!
Southern girl's mating call:
Ya'll I'm sooo drunk.
Southern boy's mating call:
Bitch, get in da truck.
I love this stuff. Have a whole post devoted to it here that you might appreciate, Lorrie.
Now stick that in your poke and tote it.
Perhaps it is fittin' that your tale of our meetin' got stuck.
My sister and BIL have been here for a week and I don't hear their accents anymore which can only mean that I am talking just like them...Michael is having a hard time understanding all of us.
Cricket and her southern tales crack me up! "Bitch, get in da truck" hahahahahaha
That was wicked pissa!
Sparky
(who has lived in New England almost all of her life)
I love it! I've lived in the North and the South and everyone thinks they know - but you got it.
As for Johnny's comment about needing a Coke, I have to say this:
In the Northeast you need a Coke.
In the South you need a Co-Cola, which means anything fizzy and not alcoholic.
Hmmmm, Lived in the South for 35 years...
And my understanding was:
Coke in the South equals ANYTHING fizzy.
Pop/Soda in the North equals fizzy.
Right?????
Righto.
A "coke" is anything fizzy.
I babysat once for some Midwest people and they said "there's some pop in the refrigerator" and I said "huh?"
Having lived in both the north and the south (Rhode Island and southern Virginia) I have, against my will, grown to appreciate the awesomness of the southern way of talking. Of course to me the pièce de resistance of talking like a southner is the covert insult.
"Well How Nice"
Translation: "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on"
As a person who describes herself as from North of Texas (i.e. Canada), my personal southern favourite is "bless his heart".
In the north: a blessing. In the south: an oh-so-genteel insult.
Shugah,
You forgot the plural of "all y'all."
And "well, that's different" is what we midwesterners, transplanted and otherwise, say to indicate sniffy disapproval--along the lines of "Well, how nice." Eg, a Minnesota Lutheran finding himself in hell would say, "well, that's different."
Anne, always a midwesterner but now living in SC
Ha..I grew up in Ohio, and I lived in North Carolina for awhile working, and I just didn't fit in. I'm a California girl at heart.
Jen
I was raised by a North Carolina mother, first in Texas, and then in Colorado. And I was so confused for so long when I moved to Noo Yawk. Nobody understood me! I wish I had had your hysterically funny and utterly accurate guidelines!
--Beth D. from Maud-L
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