Showing posts with label fibromyalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fibromyalgia. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

www.cluelessincarolina.com


www.cluelessincarolina.com


is now up & live!!!!

Now I have to learn how to use wordpress.  Right now I'm totally clueless (snort) but hopefully I will be able to figure it out. 

Please visit the new digs and thank you for reading me!

(here comes the sap)


This place has given me a place to feel positive and productive after I got fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and lost my day job.


This blog helps me support my family.


Thank you Blogher.  Thank you, people who read and comment, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I love you guys.  

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

So, Fibro

Here I am with my new short haircut and I just noticed that Tessie is in the background. Tessie is my 1992 Nissan Sentra with 232,000 miles on her. We "went away" in Tessie after our wedding 15 years ago. Hey, we're both older but still kickin'. There you go. THE SYMBOLISM.
DO YOU GET THE SYMBOLISM?


A recap. I collapsed on January 8, 2007 with pain everywhere. It felt like--a tired analogy to be sure--but accurate. It felt like I had been beaten with a baseball bat. All over. The pain is still there, especially in my legs. Ouch.


I had surgery December 13, 2006 and had all my lady parts yanked out because of possible ovarian cancer. None was found, but somehow I have this feeling that I had it in an embryonic state.


I've spent thousands of hours on the internet searching for answers and my doctors started running tests. So far I've found that I was anemic (iron pills) had low Vitamin D (more pills, including an 8 week course of prescription drugs) and mildly hypothyroid. Eureka, I had the answers. Eat thyroid pills like tic-tacs and the aching would go away! Well I did and the only thing that went away was my ability to sleep. The phone call from my doctor frantically informing me that my TSH level was "unacceptably low" didn't go away. Meh.


So I subscribed to a fibro list that advocates taking guaifenesin to "manage" fibro. It works like this: You're born with fibro. You have Things happen to you that are diagnosed as individual problems but are really symptoms of fibro. After a stressful situation (operation) you have a "flare". The only remedy is to start taking guaifenesin for the rest of your life to remove the phosphate deposits from your body, which will eventually "manage" fibro and the pain will go away. It's all explained in detail here.


Fibro is a disease of elimination. All your tests come back peachy keen, and you still hurt, you're diagnosed with fibro. My doctor agrees that I have it and has prescribed Lyrica, and fellow fibros, that stuff is heaven in a bottle!


So I forage forward, clutching my bottle of Mucinex, and hope that one day this will all be a bad memory.


It's not so bad--I'm able to work, raise kids, and do just fine thanks to my friendly army of painkillers. It's not fatal. There is something you can do about it. I've gone through those stages they talk about--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, etc. and I'm at acceptance.


It's always something. Bring it. Mom has the big A, I have fibro, I have a gorgeous sexy husband (just in case he ever actually reads this blog) two beautiful children, friends, a job I adore and....you guys. Thanks.





I'm Not A Doctor Nor Do I Play One On Television

Wow! I had no idea that so many of you would write to me about your own health concerns. It looks like a lot of us need some help.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and the last biology course I took was in the 7th grade, entitled "Life Sciences", and I did cut up a frog, yuk, and I made an "A" in the course. Now put your hands together for a round of applause. Impressive achievement to be sure, but I cannot give medical advice! However, I do have a few ideas.....
Thanks for the suggestion that I get tested for celiac disease. Jane wrote me about that awhile back, and I checked the symptoms out. I don't think I have it based on what Dr. Google says but I am going to get tested for that when I see my GP again. Who knows? My doctors just throw up their hands and write prescriptions. Fortunately they both know me well for many years and know that I'm not a chronic complainer--10 years without any serious complaints and now I'm in there every few weeks asking if they can amputate my legs or something.
I diagnosed myself with fibro after I had the mapping done. There are no tests for it. It's a disease of elimination--patient comes in hurting, tests are run, they're normal, patient is sitting there staring at you, fibro seems to come to mind. My GP thought it might be fibro and started poking me like the Pillsbury Doughboy. You're supposed to have pain in like, eighteen or so "trigger points." I didn't have that much pain in my torso, but I reminded him that I was on so many painkillers that if he ran a knife through me I'd probably just giggle helplessly. We haven't discussed the fact that I now believe I have it face to face yet, but he was nice enough to call in a prescription for Lyrica anyway and we'll be meeting again at the end of the month at which time I will show him the map.
Ok, so there is no test. They are working on a blood test for it, and that will be a great day when it's ready.
The guai website has a list of doctors and mappers that you can visit, and I SUGGEST YOU DO SO!!! The "mappers" are people trained to feel you up all over and see if they find swollen areas that they call "lesions" or "deposits." This is phosphate and the guai slowly pulls it out of your bones and muscles while you writhe in agony and reach for the pain medicine. Feeling extra pain is part of the protocol and is called "cycling." Different parts of your body hurt at different times as the guai pulls out the excess phosphate from that area. You're "cycling" that part of your system.
Remember that the guai treatment has not been accepted as legitimate by the mainstream medical community as of 2007. Top secret studies are being conducted in California as we speak by respected scientists but they are in progress. So you may have to hunt around for a doctor that will accept this protocol. I found another website with some doctors and mappers.
So--Good luck to you, write me and let me know how you get along, and take your guai! And remember you must eliminate sals!!
Also, here's a great website with ridiculously good looking people on it. Mom and son have fibro and they are doing much better. Note that she's been using guai for years and still has years to go. It is not an overnight cure. Visit them and say hi!
Update: Remember, it's not just taking Mucinex. ps. GET THE EXTENDED RELEASE ONES. YOU MUST ELIMINATE SALYCILATES FROM TOUCHING YOUR SKIN, and STOP TAKING MEDICINES CONTAINING THEM OR HERBAL PILLS. NO MORE ASPIRIN, ALKA-SELTZER, PEPTO BISMOL, MENTHOL CIGARETTES! You must wear gloves while touching plants. No walking barefoot on the grass. Ibuprofin is fine. You must check your makeup, mouthwash, toothpaste, soap, hairspray, herbal pills (no garlic, no valerian root), suntan lotion, EVERYTHING for salycilates (plant material)!!!!! Otherwise you are blocking the action of guai and wasting your money on it. Please go here for more information. I know it looks overwhelming at first, but it's really easy. Simply print out a list of the approved products and go shopping. I found everything I needed at Walmart. I bought a huge box of Ivory Soap and took some to work also. The cheapest products are often just fine. For instance, Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo is fine. I have Tom's Silly Strawberry Toothpaste--NO MENTHOL TOOTHPASTE. God, it tastes awful. I bought Citrus Scope Mouthwash at Bi-Lo. That is about the only mouthwash you can use. But it tastes great! You may already have ok products but you must read the labels. The board is very helpful and there's a fibro list you can join here . The moderators are very helpful for us newbies. They will help you if you have a question about a particular product but frankly I found it easier to just toss my old stuff and buy new (cheap) stuff.
I suggest that you find a babysitter before you go to buy new supplies armed with your new lists. My family became very restless as I carefully selected products from my notebook. And you do get some stares!!! People stared and I told them I was allergic. That satisfied their curiosity, I guess.
Update: Here's another list of doctors.

The Dragon Grins


I try not to dwell on the fact that I have a painful disease called Fibromyalgia that will never be cured, just "managed." But sometimes I feel sad and hopeless. I started this blog in 2005. I read over my old entries and think how funny I used to be. I try not to dwell on it, but sometimes I think how easy it would be to just slip away from this life. But I can't and I won't. I signed a contract with China and God to raise my children and walk into the sunset with my man and I plan to honor my promises.

Anyway, I can't wait sometimes to see how it all turns out and I'm thankful that I have a management program (guai) that will someday tame the beast that lives in my body.

But there's a poem written by Ray White that sums up what fibro will do to you. I'd like to share it with you. Remember, sometimes I look great to the outside world, but I'm loaded up with pain pills and muscle relaxants, trying to get through another day with the beast.

THE DRAGON GRINS
The doctor explains to me that I have a Dragon that has come to possess me. This Dragon is mean. This Dragon is deceiving and destructive. "But" the doctor says, "We can work at keeping this Dragon down."

"What is this Dragon's name?" I ask.

The doctor in his professional calmness says "The Dragon is FMS." The doctor explains to me ways we are going to keep him down. "Feed the Dragon some meds like Trazodone or Elavil. Do some light exercise, maybe the Dragon will get tired and leave you alone for a while."

I turn to leave and for the first time I see this Dragon. He looks at me with those evil yellow eyes,

and the Dragon grins.

I say to myself that Dragons can be slain. I read that in stories at school. The armor clad knight slaying the Dragon and triumphantly returning to town.

As I am in this daydream the Dragon jumps on me. I wrestle with him. His hot breath sears my head. His roar makes my ears ring. He leaves me in a pile of flesh on the ground. I ache all over. Some parts of my body are painful to touch. I am exhausted as I pick myself back up again. The Dragon looks back to me --

and the Dragon grins.

"I hate you Dragon." I scream as he walks away. I feed the Dragon the medication prescribed. Slowly at first, then increasing a little as time goes by. I do begin a little exercise. I change some of my diet and increase the carbohydrates. I am starting to feel better. Wow! I can go back to work now. With joy I move about relatively pain free. And I say to myself, "Maybe I have beat this Dragon. Maybe the Dragon was only my imagination. I was just a little depressed and down, but now life is great."

I look to the sky and see dark clouds looming. A cold North wind starts to blow. I hear a thunderous pounding of footsteps. I have heard that sound watching Jurassic park, but I'm not watching the movie. Boom..... Boom... Boom... I don't see anything. Boom...Boom... I panic and start to run. I don't know where to run, but I just run. The pounding gets closer and louder. I feel breath on my neck. I dare not turn around as I try to run faster...faster. A claw grabs my shoulder. Searing hot pain rips down my back. I stumble and get back up. This time something trips me and I roll to my back, staring upward. Terror runs through my body.

The Dragon has returned! "You can't escape" the Dragon yells, "YOU ARE MINE!!" I try to get up as the Dragon slams my body back to the ground. I can hardly stand the pain as he tortures me by stomping my hands. With his teeth he pulls at muscles in my back and legs. He burns my head with intense fiery breath. The battle is finally over. He stares at my crumpled body as I try to get focused on this beast. My eyes finally clear enough to see,

and the Dragon grins.

Days pass. My fingers no longer work like they used to. My muscles feel like the second day of Olympic training, but the sensation does not leave. My head is not clear. I do not see well at night. Parts of me are cold and clammy. I am stiff. Why did the Dragon beat me so hard? When I try to sleep, the Dragon slaps me awake several times at night. Sometimes I am freezing. In bed I awake drenched in sweat. It hurts to stand. It hurts to sit. My mind says one thing and my mouth says another.

And the Dragon grins.

Sometimes I think I am in a nightmare and will just someday wake up, the real me. I don't look sick, so why do I feel so bad. Friends and family laugh when I mess up on my words talking to them. I feel stupid looking in the refrigerator and not knowing why or walking around in circles either not finding what I was after or forgetting what I was looking for.

If I am driving at night and it starts to rain, the road disappears. And it is not uncommon to go somewhere and then make wrong turns coming back. My mind said turn right, but my body said left. I can go somewhere and not remember how I got there. I am not dumb, just not "connected" anymore.
Outwardly I laugh and play, but inside I have to cry sometimes.


And the Dragon grins.


 
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