Richmond, Virginia
Merry Christmas.
I'm blogging from my apartment, and I'm fat as a cow and completely miserable. The baby is due in about 6 weeks.
It's been a long fall.
My family was so excited when Uncle Hampton decided to send me on a "cruise." Mums went crazy shopping, filling a wardrobe trunk with clothes that I couldn't get my arm into right now. They're all sitting in a closet, staring at me hopefully. I stare back.
All my girlfriends wanted to come with me to board the boat, but I told them that I was sailing out of New York, so that was that.
Dear Lissy, Having a great time in Paree! Sorry I won't have time to look up your cousin until later on this spring. I'm so busy touring Europe right now I barely have time to think! It's everything you can imagine and more. The croissants are so good, I'm gaining weight just from looking at them. Tell everybody back at school that I love them and can't wait to see y'all next fall.
Mary Anne told me that Jack and Susan were engaged. I wish him the best (painful death possible). No, seriously, give him my best wishes. I'm meeting lots of charming French men who kiss my hand and buy me coffee in the cutest little cafes. Love, Lainey
Dear Mums and Dad, I am loving every second of Europe. Wasn't it great of Uncle H to do this for me? I'm learning a lot. Can't wait to see you soon. Maybe we can talk transatlantic on Christmas Day. Can't wait to hear your voice! Love, Laines
Instead of strolling the streets of Paris, I'm waiting out my exile in a small, lonely apartment in Richmond.
Uncle Hampton & Aunt Mary have been so good to me. They even rented me a piano so I could keep practicing. I ought to blow the socks off my professors next year, because that's about all I do. I read library books. I watch TV. I sleep late. That was fun--the first three days, anyway. I even miss 8:00 classes.
I begged Uncle H to let me enroll in an extension class or something to keep busy but he says, and rightly so, that I need to stay as hidden as possible. Who knows who might see me? Everybody knows everybody it seems.
I have made a couple of friends among the housewives at the apartment complex. Uncle H would die if he knew, but I've got to talk to somebody. I asked Uncle H for a picture of his son and I keep it on the coffee table. I tell the girls that this was my husband and he died in a tragic um, riding accident. They bought it.
I don't think there's any danger that I'll see any of them again. To be honest, they're not...ok...this sounds sort of snobby...but they're not really my type. All they talk about are babies! Geez! And since I'm "expecting" they think I want to talk about babies too. Ick.
Every Sunday afternoon after church Uncle H & Aunt M drive over for a visit and I cook dinner for them. I'm learning how to be a good cook. At least that ought to come in handy one day, when I have a real family.
Uncle H's doctor friend has been very nice to me. He won't talk much about the future plans for the kid. He just tells me that we'll discuss it after the baby comes. He said he's seen girls hold their babies and change their minds.
What does he think? Will the heavens open up, will a rainbow appear over my hospital bed, will a trumpet blow and an angel appear with a diamond wedding ring (at least 1 carat, please), lots of thick dark hair, twinkling blue eyes, a college degree, and a secure future? Because then I might think about keeping the baby. Maybe. This kid is kicking me so hard that I don't think it likes me much either.
Otherwise, I'm counting the days until I'm dancing on the cruise ship.
Sipping from a champagne flute.
Holding ginger ale.
Next: The pains are coming every five minutes.
Posts
11 comments:
I continue to be engrossed in each chapter of this journey you are on-but I must say I am also loving the pictures you are sharing.
I love the bangs-looks like mine after my mother would trim them the night before school pictures were taken. I'd keep squirming and the bangs would end up super short.
I also can't help but be struck by the dates. When you began this "diary" you started with May 1958 which is when my parents got married. I keep thinking about the differences between them starting out together at that point and your birth mother facing her pregancy alone except for the help of her uncle and aunt.
Waiting for your next chapter. Thanks again for what you have written so far.
I'm enjoying reading this account, but I wonder how you are with it. Does it hurt? Or is this a story you've had in your head for a long tiem?
No, it doesn't hurt. In fact, I feel like I understand her much better now, getting in her head like this.
I know this sounds terribly spooky and weird but I'm telling you the words come pouring out of me like I'm not even writing them myself.
I really never thought much about the importance that girls of that era placed on being pure for that sacred wedding night, being a child of a more free swinging time.
I can see how the fantasy took hold and became of paramount importance.
I am so excited to see another episode, even though I know it's fantasy of a sort. It is especially interesting as I work with a lot of single moms and I see how difficult it is-- and how much the dads can really just escape the whole thing. Add to that our parental notification ballot measure and it's really topical for me.
it gives me a lot of sympathy for women who had to go through this, as if I didn't already have sympathy for them.
I am enjoying your birthmother series! Also love the southern flair of your blog.
Thanks for more of the story, looking forward to continued installments.
I think you're telling a story that's very true of many woman of that time. There's no one voice, no one point of view, for sure.
I feel like you are channeling Lee Smith (Southern author) as if she were channeling your mother!
The story is so fascinating and sad at the same time. I am touched and pleased that you are sharing it with us. It has a real power to it. Maybe from the 'core truth' that you are pulling out of yourself. Wow. Amazing. You go, girl! Can't wait to hear more.
And what wonderful childhood pictures!
Thanks everybody. Thanks so much!!!
You are writing a great story that really captures the differences between Then and Now. Its so thought provoking---I can't thank you enough.
I think it is very easy to forget just how different things were for women 40 years ago. I grew up with a mom who was single by divorce [early 60's] and honestly, it was HARD all around. The kids at school didn't even know what divorce was. All the married women were suspicious of my mom. Similiarly, also in the sixties, my mother in law left an abusive relationship---she was told she should stay [even though he was knocking her senseless] because being a single mother was just unheard of. If being a single mom as a divorce was looked down upon, can any of us really get what was faced by an unmarried pregnant girl?
So are you getting this published? Because you ought to!
I've very much enjoyed reading your account, and thanks for the link to the interview. It was informative, and certainly shows your collective hearts.
I'm adopted, from Germany. Unlike many who were adopted by military and brought back, I have all my papers, including my birth-mother's name. While my parents were alive, I had no real reason to make contact; as I get older, I feel knowing health information makes sense. Is there some way to find my birth mother now, or at least find family? I've tried on-line, but German records are difficult to locate.
Thanks for any help you or anyone else can give.
Hey epicycle,
I am a lawyer and used to get magazines advertising "Heir Search Firms". They track down missing heirs who stand to inherit a lot of money. That's who I used.
Good luck!
Post a Comment