Happy Halloween!!

HALLOW!! MOMMY DECIDED TO LIGHT THE JACK-O-LANTERN AND WHILE SHE SNUCK AWAY TO WATCH My Name Is Earl WE ROASTED MINATURE MARSHMALLOWS OVER THE CANDLE!!!

CAN YOU HEAR THE ISLAND BREEZES?

HALLOW THERE AGAIN!!!

I bet you cannot guess where we have been! No, not in a million years. Perhaps you guessed DISNEY WORLD! Then you were right! I got sent to Orlando to take a deposition and took the whole family along, just like Mike always did with the Brady kids!!

But before we get to the Disney World saga, I had the onerous task of choosing exactly which hula-outfit-over hockey-jersey image would cause my children to sue me for emancipation faster, thus saving loads of money on college funds. I ended up wringing my hands helplessly over the task and deciding to just throw them all in the blog and see which one makes Madeleine come after me with a small butcher knife and a chloroform rag.

I lazily bookmarked my blog on my work laptop, allowed the girls to play a few games on it and she stumbled upon the blog. It's no big secret; I told them about it when I started writing it in 2005 and Madeleine found out about Santa by sneaking a peek at it without permission back when I had it bookmarked on the only computer in the house.
The other day after reading an entry she petulantly asked me why I referred to her as a "twit" on the blog and I tried to explain that it was a term of deep and abiding affection, but she's 9 and not easily snowed. MADELEINE YOU ARE MY HEART. YOU ARE BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL AND A FABULOUS KID, you little twit. NOW CLOSE THE BLOG AND GET BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL AND HANNAH MONTANA. THANK YOU.

ps.. How many people are dreading College Musical I,II,III,IV, Wedding Musical I,II,III,IV, Baby Musical I,II,III,IV, Golden Years Musical I,II,III, IV....It could be a longer set of sequels than Rocky.

GO COCKS!!! THAT IS NOT PROFANITY, MY WONDERFUL ADVERTISERS. THAT IS AN AFFECTIONATE NICKNAME FOR THE WORLD'S WORST FOOTBALL TEAM AND MY COLLEGE ALMA MATER.
IF THIS PICTURE DOES NOT MAKE YOU COLLAPSE INTO TEARS OF LAUGHTER THEN YOUR TEAR DUCTS ARE BLOCKED.
HOW ABOUT ONE THAT IS JUST SHEER CUTENESS? GIRLS, DO YOU STILL LOVE ME NOW? HELLO??
NOW TO FURTHER MAKE IT UP TO YOU KIDS I HAVE POSTED A MOST UNFLATTERING PICTURE OF MYSELF. MY ARMS LOOK MUSHY AND MY HAIR IS FLAT AFTER ANOTHER NIGHT WEARING THE BRITNEY WIG. HOWEVER, SINCE IT IS MY BLOG, GOSH GOLLY, (I agreed not to use profanity) I MADE THE PICTURE REALLY SMALL.
ARTSY-FARTSY, EH? One day I want to be just like Dooce, taking artfully photoshopped weirdly angled pictures and making a fortune...without leaving the house!!!

Later dudes, we have candy to eat and blood sugar to raise. Disney saga next!!!