Note: this is an old joke that has been making the rounds of the internet for years so it may be familiar to you. If you really want to know, we do not own a gun. We have two curious children and I am convinced that Madeleine could crack any safe; I've watched her decipher my internet password by simply watching me and I type 100 words per minute. I do not think that storing one in the attic is going to provide much protection from intruders.
My husband owned one when he was working as a Probation Officer, and it was stolen in a home break-in years before. The police said that if Roger and his roomies had arrived home during the break in they may have been killed because the teenagers had loaded the gun and were ready to use it if confronted (one kid confessed) For God's sake do not enter your home if you see signs that it's been broken into. Whip out the cell and call the cops. As a lawyer I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of people shot when they confronted an armed intruder.
Anyway by the time of the gun theft he was riding a desk and did not need one for work. I support reasonable gun control laws. When the children are in high school, we plan to purchase a gun and teach them to use it. I love to shoot and I am a great shot. So is Roger. We also plan on enrolling them in karate.
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ..............................................................
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN
Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. ..................................................
Republican's Answer: BANG!.....................................................
Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist!"
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11 comments:
well, i am a demorcrat but i would have shot him...only once though. kris
I do find that very funny.
But, I'm a democrat.
My wife grew up in a house with guns, her father and brother both used to hunt. My brother went through a hunting phase, and I've eaten game shot by him and more than a couple of friends (elk stew - Yum!!), so I appreciate hunting culture. As to hand guns, can't see how they make anyone safer.
Pinko liberal commie here, supporting gun laws but who also grew up in rural PNW with a father and brother and sister who hunt. My answer wasn't on there, so I'll tell you: it was pee my pants.
This line cracked me up: "You're not taking that to the taxidermist!" Ha!
I'm from Georgia, but they kicked me out because I'm so damn liberal.
We do own several guns. Actually, my husband does. I don't own any. He has a pistol that he says is a "commemorative piece" that he doesn't have ammo for. He also has a 22, another rifle, and a shotgun for hunting. But he doesn't actually go hunting very often, so they are locked in cases in the attic. I hate having guns of any sort in the house and our deal is that they can only be stored here if there is no ammo. So, I am told, there is no ammo.
I grew up in rural areas and once knew how to shoot, but I don't see any value in guns aside from the utilitarian value of obtaining meat to eat. I don't see why shooting things is fun (my husband does) and I don't see them as reasonable protection. The only way a gun seems likely to help protect against intruders is if you keep it easily accessible and loaded. And no way in hell do I want an easily accessible and loaded gun in the house.
I'm a democrat and guns make me uncomfortable, but this is still hilarious.
I emailed it to my husband and asked him to forward it to his Southern gun-toting uncle.
WELL! First Republican commenter and I must hold the line. I support (knowledgeable, informed) gun ownership, and I would shoot. And possibly more than once, but...only because I still have nightmares about that scene in Freeway where Reese Witherspoon shoots Kiefer Sutherland 9859485948903598493 times when he tries to kidnap her and he still gets up D:
Hmm. I guess it's probably not good to let movies influence one's shooting methods. I might have to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
This is probably what you should get the girls for Christmas:
http://www.crosman.com/site/listing/1393
Pink Pumpmaster 760
A proven Crosman favorite for four decades, this dependable rifle offers an experience all its own. Over 11 million have been sold! Doubles as a BB repeater or a single shot pellet gun. Now available in classic pink!
Yes, Pink! That's how you market guns to girls.
Well.
I am an unarmed southerner (but I come from the "pat of butter on the bowl of grits" -- you figure it out).
I'm unarmed, but I did once cohabit comfortably and peacefully with a heavily armed (20+ guns of assorted types), ah, gun lover. He was very careful and knowledgeable, stored the guns and the ammo apart, and there were no kids on the scene; I was fine with it. Also, I'm returning to him once the revolution begins.
He wanted me to keep a firearm in my glove compartment, but I correctly pointed out that if I had one, I would be working through the items in the Democrat's list while my attacker grabbed it from my hand and shot me. As I compromise I asked him to give me a flashlight that could be used to knock someone over the head, and he did, and I still have it.
Don't wait til the girls are in high school to enroll them in karate! Its a lot of fun!
I learned to shoot a shotgun (without dislocating my shoulder) before I learned to ride a two-wheeler! Hell, yeah I own guns. Only a couple of .38s, though. My rule is don’t own it if you’re not gonna use it, and a .38 is the only thing I can fire fast and accurate. (Curse my dainty little girl hands!) My dad once suggested that I purchase a .22, and I had to laugh. That’s fine for target practice, but if I’m going to shoot an intruder, I want something that’s going to stop him, not just piss him off! Oh, yeah, and my second rule is if you’re gonna shoot once, you may as well empty the cylinder!
Laughing out loud. So true.
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