Thanks for all the comments! I love to get comments on my blog.
Madeleine is 9.
It was just a two time thing. The local FCC (Familes With Children From China) arranged two sessions at the library. I thought it might be fun, but Madeleine "hated it!" and her loyal clone Meredith "hated it" too, but being Meredith (High On Life) she was jumping up and down and singing "hated it, hated it!" with a big smile on her face. That Child. I can handle a moody high strung little twit like Madeleine much better than I can deal with a child who is perpetually happy and cheerful. I mean, like, CHEERFUL 24 HOURS A DAY.
When Madeleine was 4 and Meredith 2 I tried some local Chinese sing and play lessons and I thought Madeleine was going to have a nervous breakdown, and I am not kidding, nor do I use that term lightly. She was hysterical. Obviously, hearing the Chinese language triggered some bad memories in her tiny brain.
Can't undo whatever is in there at this point. She's perfectly content to be a spoiled Chinese American princess with an ipod, a huge doting family, worshipful teachers, loads of friends, a cell phone, her own pink and yellow bedroom, a swimming pool, ballet lessons, violin lessons, concert tickets, and the knowledge that Santa will be arriving every year to a house thousands of miles away from the place where she was born.
She asked a few questions about her birth and adoption on her birthday, and I answered them, and then it was back to tying on the ballet shoes and giggling about Hannah Montana.
When she's ready, we'll be there to offer her the chance to embrace her heritage.
Sympathy to Jane on the loss of her kitty.
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6 comments:
What a refreshing attitude! I love it!
I've been reading a bunch of blogs by international adoption moms lately, because I've been thinking about whether it fits into my future plans. (I am a single woman, so I wouldn't be able to adopt from China ...)
I have been so incredibly turned off by how most of the people I have come across seem to do nothing but dwell and mope and wring their hands and concentrate on "oh my god, my kid's a different race, I have to focus all my time and energies on racial stuff, I'm not doing enough, I'm doing too much, I've harmed my child by taking her out of her birth culture, my kid will never fit in, white American hegemony blah blah blah."
It has come to the point where I have seriously thought that I don't want to pursue international adoption because I don't want to get sucked into this huge circle of weeping drama queens for the next 20 years of my life.
I'm so happy to know that there is somebody out there who is just taking it for what it is and not turning it into some huge traumatic drama. If I do adopt internationally in the future, I hope I can find a bunch of people like you to be my support system!
One of my friends who adopted from China sent her daughter to Chinese school when she was about 3. Her daughter cried so much that C was sure it triggered memories. Her daughter is now 7 and for that last two summers has participated in Chinese school summer program and has enjoyed it. Circumstances change and she was responsive to her daughter's needs and wants. Sounds like you too are sensitive to where your daughters are now.
It's reassuring to hear of your experience. Dd and I took a Chinese language course last fall when she was 4.5. After the hour of language immersion she stayed for Chinese dance. She loved the dance class-also taught in Chinese but did not like the language class. By January she was sobbing at the thought of going to language class. Frankly after an hour of immersion my head would be ready to pop and she ended up only taking dance the second half of the year. About the same time she started crying at night about missing her foster mama and wanting to go back to China which we plan to do in a few more years. I do think the experience triggered some memories even if they aren't visual memories anymore.
new to your blog and I love the post and the pictures...Cant wait to read more..I lived in SC (Rock Hill) growing up!
I think you should see your daughter's resistance as a huge compliment - she sees herself as an American...this is her culture now. China is her heritage and her past, but this is her present and her future. It is a testament to her attachment to you and your husband and an embrace of your life as a family.
Kudos to you and your beautiful daughters!
I've been following your adventures for a while now, well before we managed to corner our own little orphan (little Maxine, now 1.5 and home from China for a month already!). I have to tell you I got a huge grin out of this and the preceding post.
We've done the FCC thing, too, and I have the same take on it that Theresa does: you seem to run into a LOT of Caucasian parents all wrapped around the axle about whether their kid will or won't be "Chinese" enough.
My experience is colored by a girl I dated in high school and college: Kimi was an issei, 3rd generation Japanese-American who was as American as NASCAR. She loathed Japanese food and loved french fries and mayonnaise and was basically a Valley Girl who just happened to look like she should have been wearing a kimono and geta.
My $0.02? You've given little Cruella the opportunity...what she makes of it is her own. She may later decide that she wants the "Chinese stuff", and if so, she will be old enough to commit to acquiring it.
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