He Sees You When You're Sleeping

Things are joyous and harmonious around here. Shout out to all the homies who have made me the happiest blogger on earth. I wanted to blog for years but I never thought anybody would read me. Thank you.

Well, Santa is getting his sleigh packed, we're getting ready to track him with the help of NORAD and Dr. Evilla (Madeleine) has decided that maybe he really DOES exist after all. Perhaps that is because Mommy has been in almost constant psychic contact with Santa today.

We picked the girls up from day care today after Roger painstakingly assembled Meredith's new basketball goal and we went to Ruby Tuesday for dinner. While the kids were ordering, I inconspicuously pulled my cell phone out and left a message on Santa's answering service. I explained to him that he needed to watch them 24/7 until the sleigh took off. I instructed him that if the girls fought, teased, made each other cry, farted in each other's face, or committed any other violation of the Geneva Convention he had my full and complete permission to start tossing presents out of the sleigh. Of course "pretending" to leave a "secret" message meant that their ears were on DEFCON 1.

They immediately beamed affectionately at each other, exchanged high fives, piled their hands on top of each other and did a YAHOO! and then kissed each other openly. I thought they were going to join hands and sing "Kum Bah Yah" a capella next.

We all went home and Mommy then announced that she had received psychic messages from Santa. Santa thought it would be a good idea to put Daddy's ties back on the rack instead of on the closet floor where they had been for 6 months. Santa also thought that the kids needed to put away their clean clothes, sweep the floor, and Santa made it clear that he would be thinking of more chores as the night went on.

Santa is very pleased so far!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!