Why I Want To Punch Ann Coulter In The Face

I'm in a bad mood right now. Things are not going well around here. Everybody is getting back to school bugs, we're all adjusting to the school shuffle, and I checked out Ann Coulter's latest book from the library.

It had some interesting chapters on the French Revolution, and I came away from the book sickened at the madness that swept France and led to many aristocrats getting "razored" or, in otherwords, having their head separated from their body by a guillotine.

I went over to read her latest columns, and I casually clicked on a column about Casey Anthony, and found that it led to a diatribe against single mothers, who I was led to believe were the sole cause for the violence and unrest in the world. I started nodding my head in a kind of trance like way until I remembered that some of my best friends are single mothers...who adopted kids from China. Their checkbooks and faces resemble Ann closely, so perhaps they were not included in her diatribe. However, she did not make any distinctions. No, all single mothers were little more than people raising the next generation of criminals.

Then I sunk into a bad mood because I once believed that Ann, although obviously playing to the right wing loonies, often had something interesting and thoughtful to say. Then I began wondering how she would think of me at this point.

Five years ago I was a working, tax paying, Republican. I intended to work until I was, oh, eighty or so.

Then I got sick from a disease, maybe triggered by pollution approved by her cohorts. And don't talk to me about pollution and why it's not the fault of the Republicans. Simply spend a few days in China, where you discharge black dust when you blow your nose, and thank the Democrat tree huggers for trying to make and enforce pollution laws.

I wasn't going to quit-oh no no no no. I was finally gently ushered out the door and asked to retire on disability, and by that time I had developed a case of PTSD from begging to keep working. My bosses let go of many people-I'd say there are about 1/2 of my former colleagues popping antiacids and praying to whatever deity they worship that they will not be the next on the proverbial chopping block, so to speak. I do not blame my bosses-REPUBLICANS cut funding so dramatically that they had no choice but to let go of dozens of talented, decent people.

So now I"m one of those worthless parasites on disability. There are no jobs. It would actually cost money for me to work with young children. So here I sit, a worthless leech sucking money from hard working taxpayers. Never mind that I fought like crazy to STAY one of those hard working taxpayers.

And if the Republicans had their way, I would be penniless. They're doing a darn good job working to make it happen by demolishing the funds they asked me to put away to pay for our retirement.

Which explains why I have been sulking around the house chanting peaceful mantras and trying to exorcise my animonsity to all the mean people in the world

But it isn't working. I still want to punch Ann Coulter in the face.

Ann, I'm a woman with a husband, kids, a good education and I come from a "nice" family........why you dissin' me girl? Aren't we supposed to be on the same side?

Sorry, I got carried away there for a minute. I forgot. I'm unemployed, worthless, and would do the world a favor if I hustled away before I start collecting social security and forcing my grandchildren into Dickensinian poverty.

I forgot my place, Mistress Ann. You go on acting all superior & all. I hope you don't get fibromyalgia. I guess I hope that, because I am also even an EPISCOPALIAN. And Christians aren't supposed to wish harm to others.