Yuk, I Feel Awful

Sorry for my absence.  I'm trying something new to beat the fibro.  

I'm trying to take a lot of supplements and wean myself of Valium and Klonapin.

I have always bragged about being able to quit anything instantly.  I quit Cymbalta, Paxil, Lyrica, Effexor, Savella, instantly and without problems.

I know I am the only person in the world who has quit Cymbalta without any side effects.  Don't try this at home!

So I thought--okay, I'll just stop Valium cold turkey.  I've been taking it since 1985 when I had what they call "spastic bladder"..which basically means you have to visit a lot of ladies rooms. I've been on Klonapin since the fibro hit 4 years ago.

I'm still doing rohun healing also, and had one appointment with a chiropractor/acupuncturist who stuck me with a lot of needles and turned a heat lamp on my stomach but wasn't able to adjust my neck to my satisfaction.

So I quit Valium & Klonapin cold turkey 10 days ago.  

Bad idea. By Friday I was bawling out loud.  My pain level had skyrocketed up to 11.

I had an appointment with a new, reputable pain doctor at 2:00 that day, and was very pleased with him.

I'm pretty much off the Valium-none today, one yesterday-and one Klonapin instead of three today.   I'm taking B vitamins, C, Zinc, Selenium, Garlic, Potassium, Magnesium, Calcium and starting Valerian Root. I threw in some Vaxa Buffer-Ph that's supposed to make your body alkaline instead of acidic.  

And I'm trying to eat raw or lightly cooked garlic. My stomach does not like raw garlic.   Yet, when I ate a clove yesterday, my pain levels dropped dramatically.  ????

I believe in miracles.  I'm married to one.  I'm married to a person who wasn't given a prayer of surviving in 1970.  And he's still around and healthy as a healthy horse.

I'm chasing my own miracle.

I'm sorry that this isn't giving me a lot of time to write on here, but I'll be back this week, as soon as my body gets used to the new kids in town, and update you on my progress.

I'll chase the dream of a pain-free day anywhere and anyhow I can get it.   

The worst part isn't the pain, it's the feeling of hopelessness.   The little demon on my shoulder is screaming in my ear that I'm just sick, always will be, and that my happy, productive days in life are in the past.

I have two kids that are 10 and 12.  Sorry, I'm not willing to give in and eat painkillers for the rest of my life.

I thought it was hard to find a decent guy.  Then I thought it was hard to find the kids who were meant to be ours.  Then I thought it was hard to deal with losing my dad, my poodle babies, my aunt, and watch Mom deteriorate slowly of Alzheimer's.

I was wrong.

This, this battle for a day without agonizing pain, is the all consuming battle for my...life.  My very life.

Because living in pain?  Not being productive?  Not winning the awards and praise I've chased since I could first lisp "I got stwait As" in kindergarten?

This is the hardest battle I have ever faced.  I hate to say the hardest I will ever face, because life sure does have a way of sneaking up behind you and slapping you with a rubber hose filled with wet sand....


But it is a battle I intend to win or die trying.