DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DON'T YOU

(I found this old post and realized I had never published it and couldn't resist.  Me=Evil).

Greetings, all. Hope you're having a glorious holiday weekend. I did absolutely zilch today except sleep. It was a glorious. Sitting around thinking sometimes stirs my creative juices (and my digestive juices--I made lemon bars).

The latest blogosphere scandal blew up over a washing machine and left all of us peons who are still using their old washer and dryers (in our case, I have a GE washer and dryer). I have been 100% satisfied with them. GE, I could use a new front loader, though, if you can find it in your heart to ship me one after this enthusiastic endorsement.

If you follow the Dooce as she careens her way through life, rising to the 26th most influential woman in the media, then you already know about how she bought a new Maytag and it wouldn't work. She was unhappy, and frankly I can't blame her. The only thing that irritates me is that she claimed that she had to save for a washing machine fund. COME ON DOOCE. You live in a house that is valued at 600,000 or 700,000 on zillow--you have a full time assistant and your husband works for you.....and you would have us believe that you are tucking away spare quarters for a new machine? PUH-LEEZE.

To make a long story short, the Dooce called Maytag and didn't get the prompt response she expected so she told the customer service lady that she had a million followers on Twitter and she was going to tell them about it. The lady probably didn't even know what Twitter was. She was...unimpressed.

A set of Twitters from Dooce followed excoriating Maytag and begging her readers not to buy Maytag. I'm not linking to the twitters or Dooce. It's all out there--just Google or Bing Twitter Dooce Maytag Sundry. I ain't saying nothing except that I was a child when the Tet offensive was launched in Vietnam and I recall that it got less publicity, and if it was launched today, I feel certain that it would STILL get less attention than what I shall genially dub the Maytag Wars.

I'm Team Sundry if anyone cares. Sundry was the first name I recognized who called her out and game on. Everybody has kissed and made up by now, but still.

I'm not linking Dooce 'cause if you are at all interested in my post, you already know about her. If you're not, there's plenty of fun, wholesome activities like golf and sailing and polishing silver out there-have at it!!!

I guess that I have too much free time this weekend because I started imagining what it would be like if Dooce and Jon, her prince consort, were ever accosted by a robber.......*

Robber: Hey lady! Give me all your money! I HAVE A GUN.

Dooce:  Don't you know who I am?  I have a MILLION followers on Facebook!  They will totally hunt you down and KEEEL you!    Plus Jon...um....Jon.?

(from the shadows:  please don't hurt me.  I can code in three languages!)

Robber:  Just promise me that I'll get dibs on the Ipad when it comes out and I'll let you go.

(from the shadows:  okay).