China doesn't owe anybody a child, quit whining.Ok. Well, personally, it doesn't affect me because I do not plan to adopt again.
Is it ok it I whine a little bit for THE CHILDREN?
Is it ok if I whine a little bit about the kids who will never get to have a ghastly looking (but tasty) homemade birthday cake?
Is is ok if I whine a little bit about the fact that there are people who want to adopt kids, and lonely kids in orphanages, and I just wish that both parties could have their dreams come true?
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7 comments:
If it's your B-day, happy happy!
You've summarized all the angst.
Definitely-- whine about the children. Whine about all the children in this wretchedly unfair world who suffer everyday because of the stupidity of religion and politics. Whine for the children languishing in poorly run orphanages who will never know the touch of a mother's hand or the warmth of a father's hug, because international adoption doesn't "look good." Whine for the the little girls undergoing female genital mutilation because some misogynistic male or female patriarch decided that's what their religion required. Whine for the children in Africa, decimated by AIDS and malnourishment. God, the list has no end. Just remember the trite little story about the millions of starfish on the beach. One gets thrown back into the sea. "I made a difference for that one."
Wow. High-horsy and preachy for a Thursday morning, the shortest (and most depressing apparently) day of the year.
- Musing Mum
thing is, there isn't a "right" way to react to this kind of thing, you know?
The people who are whining and gnashing their teeth and sounding "entitled" to a child from China, well, I can get all nasty on them as fast as anyone.... until I realize that we would still qualify, but barely (I'm fat, but not BMI of 40 yet). Then I think of how wretched infertility was, and how much the sun came out when we started our adoption. If I were in that place, just starting, and I suddeenly had the rug pulled out again, well, I'd be feeling a bit sorry for myself, and I'd be whining.
They will all get over it. They will all move on to other adoption programs or other dreams, and they will all be OK. But holy crap, when the shock is new, let them whine a bit without declaring them all entitled whiners (not you, Clueless, of course).
As for the kids.... it does in fact break my heart. I hope that people will still be accepted into the WC programs-- like the woman with the partially-sighted spouse. I bet if they applied for that kid, China would be OK with it. Some of the most loving families I know have disabled parents, parents who adore their kids and would not have been able to adopt them without the WC program or without these new rules. That makes me sad.
What Johnny said.
Except I'll say happy birthday to M & M instead.
I don't care what China does or doesn't because I assume there are plenty of other foreign places from which to adopt a child. In the abstract, my take is that I actually find it encouraging that the Red Menace is putting some parameters out there so that the kids aren't just being exported like so many back scratchers, but what do I know. Anyway, cake advice: write on the cake AFTER all the decorations are completed, and practice on a paper plate before you begin. xoxo
Hey, I've been lurking for a while and LOVE reading your blog. Not that it’s even worth it, but I just wanted to pip my 2-cents in. I guess the thing (as far as our personal situation is concerned) is not the money (hubby's a lawyer and I am research analyst), we not thin – but we’re not fat – I mean we could both stand to loose 5 to 10 lbs, married forever, and education ~ hum ~ between the two of us, three bachelor’s, 1 ½ masters, and a JD, but it is the facial deformity, that has me a little pissed-off (sorry - can I say that on your blog?). I mean - that’s how the paper work on the our princess’s referral read – facial vascular malformation deformity. PLEASE! Oh well, we want a second child through adoption and so Guatemala here we come.
Debbie
OK I know that you cannot do anything about the regulations from China, but here's my 2 cents: Instead of making a blanket "no one over 50 and 55 if special needs" perhaps they could specify something such as "no more than 50 years age difference between the child and the oldest adopting parent" That way, the older children can still be adopted and the younger ones can go to younger parents? Seems fair to the child. I've seen some much older parents (I'm talking 70+ years) adopting a one-year-old. The likelihood of that child being orphaned again is much higher than if that couple adopted, say, a 10 year old.
Just my 2 cents.
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