This won't mean a thing to you if you're not interested in China adoption, but anyway, China has just instituted a whole new list of restrictions for prospective parents that basically excludes 99.9% of the population, if they're being 100% honest. I hereby predict that 99.9% of prospective adoptive parents will not be 100% honest.
Basically, you must be young, rich, married, thin, educated, not deformed in any way (yes, that is the word they use) and most of all God Forbid you cannot be medicated for anxiety and depression, and just thinking about all this causes me anxiety and depression, and I already have completed my family.
You already know to get the hot scoop from the Rumor Queen, of course.
Of course China can do whatever they want to do. But why is it that the nasty little suspicious part of me is wondering why this all coincides with the upcoming 2008 Olympics to be held in China?
And why am I thinking this interview will be beamed over the airwaves in 2008?
Commentator: While we're waiting for the javathiathlon to start, let's take a look at the principal exports of China.
Commentator 2: I guess it would be kids! (laughter)
C1: That's right, Biff. But by golly, it looks like China has good taste in the parents they select. Let's go to the McMansion of Fred and Ethel Buffington, coming to you from Snobberie Heights, NJ. Hello Fred and Ethel.
F&E: Hello!!!
C1: Looks like you guys just got off the golf course! Ethel...va-va-voom!
F&E: That's right, Biff, and we also worked out for three hours at the club this morning. Gotta keep in shape for our new little China Doll!
C1: What great parents you'll make. And how happy you are!
F&E: Well, we've been sad sometimes when we realized we couldn't have any kids of our own, but we find that the best way to combat the blues is a brisk, long walk and a good cup of piping hot herbal tea. We feel that Americans are far too reliant on drugs to combat depression.
C1: Tom Cruise sure agrees with you! (Laughter)
F&E: Well, we sure feel sorry for all the people out there who can't deal with life, y'know? We worked hard to get where we are--we both have PhDs from a prestigious university, also.
C2: Impressive!! Well, back to the javatriathalon.
F&E: Thanks and a shout out to all the fat, poor, unhappy single people out there who won't be getting their China Dolls.
C1: Maybe they'll feel better if they take some more depression drugs! (Laughter)
Commentator 2: I guess it would be kids! (laughter)
C1: That's right, Biff. But by golly, it looks like China has good taste in the parents they select. Let's go to the McMansion of Fred and Ethel Buffington, coming to you from Snobberie Heights, NJ. Hello Fred and Ethel.
F&E: Hello!!!
C1: Looks like you guys just got off the golf course! Ethel...va-va-voom!
F&E: That's right, Biff, and we also worked out for three hours at the club this morning. Gotta keep in shape for our new little China Doll!
C1: What great parents you'll make. And how happy you are!
F&E: Well, we've been sad sometimes when we realized we couldn't have any kids of our own, but we find that the best way to combat the blues is a brisk, long walk and a good cup of piping hot herbal tea. We feel that Americans are far too reliant on drugs to combat depression.
C1: Tom Cruise sure agrees with you! (Laughter)
F&E: Well, we sure feel sorry for all the people out there who can't deal with life, y'know? We worked hard to get where we are--we both have PhDs from a prestigious university, also.
C2: Impressive!! Well, back to the javatriathalon.
F&E: Thanks and a shout out to all the fat, poor, unhappy single people out there who won't be getting their China Dolls.
C1: Maybe they'll feel better if they take some more depression drugs! (Laughter)
Posts
17 comments:
This makes me so sad I could cry, to think that because I take Celexa, am single, and am 20 pounds overweight it could prevent me from adopting from China.
sigh... Everytime I even think about this, and for purely selfish reasons, I think thank God I started and finished my adoptions almost 5 years ago.
It is sad to think that even one more child will grow up in an orphanage than would be the case under the old rules. Meanwhile, this may also mean more special needs children from India, Mongolia, the Phillipines, and South Africa may find homes. And when China whittles down the number of adoptions to a managable level, things may loosen up again. As you are thinking, that could be right after the Olympics.
I think this is the beginning of the end for IA in China. Given that there does not appear to have been any widely-acknowledged, documented issues with any of the "conditions" now diqualifying prospective parents, I have to see this for what it is - China's way of beginning to close the door on international adoptions.
I suspect that the Chinese gov't was happy to see their orphaned children with parents - any parents - until the program got big enough to start making headlines. At that point it started to make China look so, well, kinda Third World.
First Chinese official: So, what? We're exporting babies now? Like goddam Guatemala?
Second Chinese official: Whadda we look like to you, some kinda mook?
A world power doesn't export it's young'uns, regardless of the benefit of finding a mommy and a daddy (or a mommy or a daddy) to love...
I think this is very sad for the mommies and daddies who won't have a little person to love, and sad for the little people who will grow up in an orphanage, instead. But if life has taught me anything, it's that countries and governments can never be counted on to do what's right and best for mommies, daddies and their little ones...
We had pretty much ruled out a second child, for various reasons of our own, but this precludes even the possibility of adopting a little sis for our Miss Madeline. Although we are sufficiently educated and rich, and neither of us is "deformed," DH has already hit the big five-oh, and my BMI hovers somewhere in the mid-40's. We also both have significant other health conditions, and then there are those darned antidepressants. Oh, well. I don't believe for a minute that there's a "real" supply problem here, because so many Chinese orphanages DON'T participate in IA. No, the queue has gotten too long, and the Olympics (and Bryant Gumbel) are a'comin'. But I draw the line at the suggestion of some on APC have suggested that China is retroactively saying that people like me and DH are "unfit" parents, thus saying our adoption of Miss Madeline was a mistake. Now, that's pure lunacy.
Edie
yup. i'm on zoloft for depression (find me someone with infertility who isn't depressed), my dh had one count of dui seven years ago, and he does not have a college degree. he earns 90k a year, but that doesn't matter because he doesn't have a degree.
now i'm just waiting for the other shoes to fall and other international adoption programs will close or change. sigh
When China instigated "heterosexulaity" affadavits 7 years ago or so, thus preventing any gays or lesbians from adopting (unless we lied) I always wondered what the folks who were so sanctimonious to ME at the time would do or say when these kind of regulations were enforced....
Okay - delurking for a moment.
Let me first say that I love your blog. You have a wonderfully unique way of expressing things succinctly and beautifully but I must disagree with some of this post.
My husband and I are in the process of adopting our first from China (LID Dec 2005). We plan, barring any additional changes, to adopt at least one more from China.
While we are thin, relatively happy, and married we are certainly not rich or overly well educated. What we are is middle class with one college degree completed and one in progress. We're not perfect, but we've worked hard to be where we are - and with a few dollars saved and some equity in our home then we will qualify.
Whether I think China is right or wrong is not relevant because they get to make their own rules and we, unfortunately, have no choice but to go along with those - but I don't think that asking for a minimum high-school education can necessarily be considered as overly well-educated.
I really am sorry for the folks who will be excluded and it breaks my heart for those who are affected by this. Hell, I know I won't rest easy until we have our daughter in our arms and who knows when/if that will be.
That was a perfect, approprately snarky creative outlet. I was astounded to hear about all these rules coming up... heck, my own mom adopted kids after a couple bio ones BECAUSE she didn't want to be pregnant on antidepressants. Egads, yay for the prestige of being perfect to qualify for a chinese child.
Good thing we already have our daughter home. If we were compiling our dossier now, we'd be disqualified due to depression & the meds that basically put it into remission. Who cares that between us we have 2 bachelor's degrees, 1 Ph.D. and 1 J.D.; that our net worth is currently half a mil; and that our daughter is thriving? It's clear that we're unfit!
Just checking in to say that I discovered your blog last night via a long circuitous route of other APs and adult adoptees, and I do not lie when I say that I stayed up ALL NIGHT reading your back posts. (Okay, I also had to make some cookies for the solstice celebration at my kid's school as well - but in between, I read your entire blog).
Great blog! Your girls are gorgeous, your stories are amazing, and your sense of humor and levity, even when faced with some pretty heavy topics, was a nice change from my usual adoption reading.
My husband and I just finished our homestudy and hope to have our dossier to China in the next month or so. Assuming that I don't eat any more of my kid's solstice cookies and can keep my BMI down.
Anyway, thanks for a fantastic read. Please keep writing.
Hmmm. I don't know. China has the right to impose any limitations or requirements they want; we do NOT have the right to adopt their children, and to me that's what all the postings lambasting the changes smack of: entitlement. Don't get me wrong; I'd probably be disqualified now as well, since I'm diabetic and that is probably considered a serious medical condition, and I'd definitely be horrendously disappointed. However, since I never presumed to think China (or anyone else or any other country for that matter) "owed" me a child, I would have wept and gnashed my teeth and then gotten over it.
Also, since China has only ever allowed a certain number of kids to be adopted, eliminating people from the wait isn't going to affect that number. I don't think there are going to be more family-less children because of it. I probably sound cold and heartless here; I'm really not. I'm sorry people who want to adopt won't be able to, but at some point, we all have to face the fact that we don't always get what we want, even when it's our heart's desire.
It is ironic that I recently emailed my dh at work the photo and description of a little boy on a WC list who has sight in just one eye. Dh has had the same problem from birth and yet from looking at him you would never know. Nor has it ever stopped him from accomplishing his goals. He also has read more books than anyone I have ever met.
Yet I just read an email from our agency yesterday that listed being sightless in one eye (without artificial eye) as a disqualifying condition. So all the pestering I have done in the last year re. adopting a boy from the WC lists looks like a moot point now.
The past 24 hours I have felt enormously thankful we applied to adopt our daughter when we did 5 years ago.
Oh yeah-and the Zoloft I took briefly after having 3 miscarriages-guess that would rule us out too. I also agree with the comment that many who have suffered with IF in this country have taken some form of medication to help them. I thought it was better to seek help when necessary and those same parents might be more likely to seek mental health services for their adopted children dealing with possible attachment issues and behavior problems as they grew up.
I don't want this to come across as sounding entitled, just grateful beyond words for all the joy we have experienced thus far with our dd.
We're just praying we get through an SN adoption we are in the process of trying to complete. We will never qualify again and so be it. But, these rules came up fast and not everyone with an adoption in progress, even an SN one, will get to complete it. I wonder what will happen to the those kids on the other end who were so close to having a family. THey will have to wait again for a new family willing to accept their SN..... only now they will be older.
Love the cake and you are so right about those who might not have the cake.
The new rules were given 6 months notice, I think a fair amount of notice. Also, the kids are still going to get families, this will just cut down the wait time for those kids.
The SN program is actually opening up more - all agencies will now be able to access it, where previously only a few were.
I think your intuition about China's recent decision being related to the upcoming Beijing Olympics is on the money. Think back to 1988 and the Olympics in Seoul - the famous Bryant Gumbel comment about Korea's greatest export being its children led to a significant slowdown, and in my opinion launched Korea's efforts to stop intercountry adoption altogether. I'm sure that China anticipates similar publicity and is hoping to avoid as much as possible.
Post a Comment