1. WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO BE PARENTS!!! happy happy joy joy happy happy
2. Friend One: "Oh, you're so wonderful for doing this!"
Friend Two: "Shouldn't you stick to your own kind? I hear Russia has lots of little blue eyed blonde babies...."
3. Oh. My. God. Look at all those sad stories from adult adoptees.
4. My kids will hate me! I've ruined their lives...
5. I know. I'll just be frank, open, honest, and respectful. I know that I can make them see that I'll be a good parent. Here, let me just write a post/comment that shows how I'll plan to handle the problems that arise with a transracial adoptee....and how caring and understanding I am...
6. They still hate me! So will my kids! I wish I had gone to Russia instead.
7. Walk away. Resolve to honor child's birth culture every day, be frank, open, honest, and respectful when my child processes the sad and bewildering demons of international adoption and racism, and enjoy life.
2. Friend One: "Oh, you're so wonderful for doing this!"
Friend Two: "Shouldn't you stick to your own kind? I hear Russia has lots of little blue eyed blonde babies...."
3. Oh. My. God. Look at all those sad stories from adult adoptees.
4. My kids will hate me! I've ruined their lives...
5. I know. I'll just be frank, open, honest, and respectful. I know that I can make them see that I'll be a good parent. Here, let me just write a post/comment that shows how I'll plan to handle the problems that arise with a transracial adoptee....and how caring and understanding I am...
6. They still hate me! So will my kids! I wish I had gone to Russia instead.
7. Walk away. Resolve to honor child's birth culture every day, be frank, open, honest, and respectful when my child processes the sad and bewildering demons of international adoption and racism, and enjoy life.
Posts
8 comments:
Heh. Not too far off from us, except I don't think I ever tried to justify myself to adult adoptees, just did all the panic stuff in silence.
I took Q to a toddler music class in Mandarin today (I'm Chinese-American), and there was a Caucasian mom there with here Chinese daughter. Remembering some of the sad posts I've read elsewhere about adoptive parents not feeling welcome in cultural activities, I smiled and tried to be a little extra friendly. A loving parent is the best a child could hope for.
"I know that I can make them see that I'll be a good parent. Here, let me just write a post/comment that shows how I'll plan to handle the problems that arise with a transracial adoptee....and how caring and understanding I am..."
With respect - I think your post is advising parents to stay out of the fray because the "angry adoptees" will hate us no matter what we say or do.
Correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm right, I agree, but for a different reason - respect for the fact that the adoptees are adults, and are therefore entitled to their own feelings and opinions, without a-parent attempts to dismiss what they say.
Hello, I'm Erin, and apparently, we've been sharing a brain lately.
third mom,
I'm talking about the adoptees who are unalterably opposed--under ANY circumstances--to international adoption.
I'm all for listening to adoptees. I remember all too well the party line when I was growing up--that I should be 100% satisfied with my "good home" and thank God for all the angry adoptees who have changed our country's thoughts about that.
But if a person is 100% opposed to international adoption, we have nothing to talk about.
Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.
I agree that it's pointless to debate intercountry adoption with people who oppose it. But the label is unnecessary. "Angry KADs" dismisses those who oppose IA and ignores those who don't. Korean adoptees don't fall into those two neat categories; labeling them this way only promotes stereotypes.
I hope this doesn't come across argumentatively, as it's not intended to be. I enjoy your blog, just wanted to offer this point of view.
Hi - first time visitor here...
I have a friend who adopted from Russia, and she got flak for it from supposedly "caring" people.
I think adoption is a wonderful thing for the parents and the child. I never quite understand why people have such a problem with it.
Good luck to you!
Sudiegirl
Hi there,
This is my first visit to your blog. This post is timely as I've really been struggling with this issue and feeling guilty about my selfish reasons for choosing international adoption and praying my child won't think I'm wicked when she grows up. I'm just going to do the very best I can!
Tracy
Post a Comment