Bad Poetry

My mom always encouraged me to "write a poem" about things that happened in my life, resulting in the death of a whole forest of trees, sacrificed on the altar of my ghastly poetry. I have hugged a tree to apologize. I usually resist the urge to share, but sometimes the feelings just come welling up with the force of a batch of organic spinach infested with e.coli. This is one of those times. I promise I won't do it again...soon. (evil chuckle)

Sung to "Turn, Turn, Turn"

To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a computer for every pervert
on the planet.

A time to yearn
For youthful thighs
A time to email
With wistful sighs

Won't you let me
Slip off your jeans
You look so cute
You're in my dreams...

Now everything, spin, spin, spin,
It's just sex, denials begin,
We didn't know, we didn't see
Business must proceed...orderly!

It's just a plot
To bring the Pubbies down
A poor misunderstood man
Had to leave town.

As a mother let me say,
You're making no new friends this way,
Don't deny your negligence
Ignorance is no defense.

I'll pull the lever Democrat
Though ancestors toss their grave.
Children must not be molested.
Our country must be saved.