Hormone Crazed, Hysterical, Self Righteous, Emotional, Deranged Soccer Mom

Just a few of the loving labels directed at me when I posted my opinion of the Mark Foley scandal on a popular conservative blog.

And I hate soccer.

I don't usually blog politics, because of several reasons. First of all, I've noticed that political bloggers tend to get called a lot of names. Secondly, I can't imagine that my opinions would be of interest to anyone out there. Thirdly, and most importantly, my opinions are pretty much all over the place.

My parents were/are righteous Republicans, and once I saw the tax bite on my first paycheck I generally tended to vote Republican cherishing the wistful hope that eventually the large sum of money deducted from my earnings would somehow magically decrease; I'm still waiting. Daddy worshipped Rush Limbaugh; he taped several hundred of his shows. I once sent Rush a self addressed stamped envelope explaining that my father was his biggest fan and asking for an autographed picture to give to Daddy for his birthday. Rush never responded, and probably used my stamp to order more prescription drugs or something, so Rush, you're DEAD to me.

I wish Daddy was alive so that we could engage a good throwdown argument about the war. I have a feeling that he'd be all for it, and I'm personally trying to figure out why we've lost more Americans than died on 9/11 and 1/3 of a trillion dollars fighting a war against a country where all the 9/11 hijackers came from...well, except for none.

Anyway, the Mark Foley scandal has jolted me out of my political lurkdom for just a few minutes. Myrna Blyth said it all, and better than I could, in this article.

Ms. Blyth pointed out that women, regardless of their party affiliation, are outraged at the Republican leaders turning a blind eye to the fact that one of their own was cruising teenage boys. Maybe it's because we are better people. Maybe we have a more highly developed sense of morals. Or maybe it's because some of us have...and I apologize if this makes me a deranged hormone crazed hysterical soccer mom....innocent children who might want to be pages themselves one day?

Here's the thing. I was once a teenage page myself, albeit on the state level. I didn't have any great connections. I lucked into it because I babysat for the governor's secretary who very kindly got me an internship in his office, then I went on to work at the state house part time almost all the way through law school. I loved it.

I have no titillating tales to tell you though and I think the attached picture ought to convince you that no congressperson, male or female, ever hit on me.* Coke bottle glasses, bad perm, complete dorkiness, yeah, that pretty much insured that nobody was asking for my measurements or anything. My bosses were perfect gentlemen. Gov. James B. Edwards once asked me to remove an ERA YES button that I wore to work (Republicans were apparently against that, who knew? Yes. C-L-U-E-L-E-S-S. Say it with me, bros and sisters). Sen. Hyman Rubin once asked me to please not park my 1971 VW in his parking space. Sen. Rubin was my boss, and such a wonderful man. I sent him Christmas cards for years before it occurred to me that he was, in fact, Jewish. Yes. C-L-U-E....

But I'll tell ya one thing and you can take it to the bank along with the dessicated remains of your paycheck after the tax-and-spend crowd get ahold of it....

Everybody knows everything about everybody in politics.

That's what they DO, people! They gossip! Night and day! Day and night!

Do you really think that the titans of the Republican party were limited in their knowledge to what allegedly came through official channels?

Do you really think that Foley limited his, um, interest in hot young male pages to emails and IMs?** Because we all know that sexual predators usually just fantasize about it, never actually do anything.

Do you think that the idea of my teenage daughters getting hit on by 52 year old congressmen while Republican party leaders turn a blind eye to same makes me want to smile serenely and caress the tattoo of an elephant that I have close to my heart?

Or do you think that it makes me want to go all Lorena Bobbitt?

* A lovely commenter wants to know the story of how I got hot. I wish I was! But thank you. In those days I never wore makeup and the glasses were horrifying. I still wear glasses, but they look cooler. I have had liposuction and plastic surgery on my nose. Also, I dye my hair.
**So now the Pubs are claiming that it's all ok because the age of consent in DC is 16. No problem! I'll just remind the girls to pack lots of condoms.