Are YOU Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

My kids edited that picture, don't yell at me.  It just cracked me up.

I have just been handed the PASS test brochure which explains that every spring children from 3-8th grade are tested to see if those lazy, overpaid school teachers do anything except take lengthy vacations on their yachts and harass their servants.

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That was sarcasm.

By the way.

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These are sample questions used for the fifth grade test.

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Read the dictionary entry.

fashion:  1. v. to make or form.  He can fashion a boot out of leather.  2. n. manner or way. The girl acted in a carefree fashion.  3. n. style or dress.  I shop to find the latest fashion.   4.  v. to imagine or think about.  He fashions himself a genius.

What is the best definition for the word fashion as used in this line from a poem?

"I can fashion a snowflake."

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Read these two sentences.

 

Jamal will get the books at the library.

He cannot pick them up until tomorrow.

What is the correct way to combine the sentences?

a.   Jamal will get the books at the library he cannot pick them up until tomorrow.

b.  Jamal will get the books at the library, he cannot pick them up until tomorrow.

c.  Jamal will get the books at the library and he cannot pick them up until tomorrow.

d.  Jamal will get the books at the library, but he cannot pick them up until tomorrow.

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Use this table to answer the question.

Input (w)   1,3,5,7

Output (z)   8,10,12,14

Which equation represents the relationship between the input values and the output values?

a. z=8w

b. z=w divided by 8

c. z=w-7

d. z=w+7

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For a science project, a student needs a concentrated sugar solution.  The solution he has is too diluted. What is one way the student can make the solution more concentrated?

a. pour the solution through a filter to remove some of the sugar

b. add equal amounts of sugar and water to the solution

c. boil the solution to evaporate some of the water

d. add more water to the solution

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Use these facts about basketball to answer the question.

1.  In 1891, Dr. James Naismith invented the game of basketball while teaching school in Massachusetts.

2.    In 2008, teams from 74 countries competed in basketball for the Summer Olympics.

Which term best explains these facts?

a. cultural exchange

b. political cooperation

c. economic cooperation

d. educational achievement

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Why did I write this blog entry?

1.  Because, 15 minutes ago, I thought of myself as a fairly intelligent person.  Ah, who am I kidding?  I fashioned myself as a genius.
  
2.   Because it was an easy way to squick out a blog entry.

3.   Because it kept me from feeling stupid while I pounded out the entry.

4.  Because I was taking a break from thanking the Lord for free, excellent public schools, allowing me to escape having to homeschool.

5.  All of the above.

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Answers to the above:

1,d,d,c,a,5
This entry is 100% genuine.   Scans of the brochure available upon request.