What The Heck Is Wrong With Cursing?

Cursing. Saying bad words. What do you think about them? Do you use them? Do you forbid your children, or if you had children, would you forbid them from using them? Are there limits that can be set so that this much is okay or that much is okay?

I had all sorts of things planned to write about, but I am a member of a email list formed fifteen years ago composed of adoptive parents. Most of us are liberal in politics, although not all. Most of us live up north, but not all. We have been together on the internet so long that we feel like a family. Of all of the fifty lists I've joined over the years, this list never fails to capture my attention.

Today someone posted about gay marriage passing in New York and used a common expletive to express his joy. Someone else replied....completely out of the blue...someone who had joined the list 2 years ago and who had never posted...that he would have to leave the list if this kind of language was allowed.

The list reacted with a "do WHAT?" Shock and awe might describe it best. I mean, we have been together since children weighing 10 pounds were placed in our arms and now these children are packing for college, selecting a high school to attend, taking the SAT, attending the prom....

It got me thinking about cursing in general. Why is it so "bad"?

I was given the option of using curse words or not when I signed an agreement with Blogher, my wonderful ad agency. I was warned that I would not be considered for some advertisers because they preferred no cursing.

I accepted. Now I do want to get one thing straight. Nobody made me do it. If I had a product to sell, I would select curse free blogs too. After all, some writers know how to curse. They know how to place a well timed word once in a great while for maximum impact.

Other writers throw curse words around gaily and as promiscuously as a whore working the busy shift. I wouldn't advertise cars, mops, furniture, peanut butter, or soap on their blogs either. And nobody at Blogher has time to preapprove all posts. It's a large network. So they handle it the only way they can. I'm down with that.

Another reason I chose to Just Say No is that I'm a real person with a real life living and hopefully one day working in a VERY conservative profession in a VERY conservative state. I decided when I started this blog that I would tell everybody that I knew to self censor myself. I write words on this blog that I wouldn't mind being read by anybody who happened to stop by, whether it be the retired state supreme court judge who lives down the block, my mother, my minister, or my....

Kids.

Lord have mercy, the kids. I grew up in a home that forbid any curse words at all. This was awful. One time Mom said, through gritted teeth, "I can't get this.....DANG.....car started!" Said car was a touchy little French Renault that only ran well on alternate blue moons. And my dad sold it to a man who was buying it for his daughter who was just starting law school...as was I. I rode in that car to the Bar exam, and almost missed it. Back in the old days, cars broke down all the time and we didn't have no fancy cell phones either. Don't miss those days, no I don't. I miss being able to eat anything I wanted without gaining a dress size, but I like to drive cars that make it to their destination.

But I digress.

I enjoy a bit of cursing in everyday life, and I've told the kids that my personal opinion is that there is nothing wrong with a few curse words sprinkled through your personal conversation like salt. But like salt, pouring them all over your conversation makes it inedible. Good Lord, I sound like Lake Wobegon Days or something. Well, you get the drift.

I've carefully explained that you do not use curse words in front of your teacher, your boss, your grandparents, strangers, etc.....only in conversations with close personal friends. And me, if you like.

For you see, I differ a bit from my parents. Not being able to EVER say ANYTHING was as bad as not being able to EVER have a gumball. I crave both. Gimme one of those ***** gumballs.

Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I hope I'm doing the right thing.