Happy 12th birthday.
It's hard to write anything original about how much I love you. From time immemorial, mothers have tried to express how much they love their children. So instead of glurging up the internet with another sappy love letter, I'm going to list the reasons I love you.
1. You're a genius. So I've been told by many people who measure this stuff. I'm pleased that you have been issued one of the few Golden Tickets and have the talent to live an interesting, creative life. Go far. I'll be watching you and clutching you to my heart as you sail through life picking up awards and accolades.
2. You're exactly like me. Our life has so many spooky coincidences that when another one pops up I've given up exclaiming and now I just shrug. Your sixth grade section was 61 in the same school I attended. My section was 6-1-1. Some say we both should have been put in 6-6-6, but I say they're just jeluz of us, don't you?
3. You have a healthy self image. If you didn't, after teachers fawning over you for 9 years, I'd wonder about your intellect. The day we placed you in daycare every teacher in the building came by to see the cute new kid. As adolescence dawns, you're starting lose some self confidence. Kid, the Fates will knock you to the floor regularly. I'm sorry about that. But I can't stop it.
4. You're ferocious. So am I. We both become rabid when we feel that we have been shafted or mistreated. I like that. And you're so funny. You and I can now riff off of each other. Your sweet Daddy sometimes becomes horrified when we do our Mom and Daughter Sarcasma Act, but we enjoy it, don't we?
5. Just like me, you hate to show your sweet, soft inner self to many people. Good. Protect it. You will meet people who are not interested in you. Don't be afraid to show your heart to people who have proven their loyalty and love for you, but don't give your heart or your body cheaply.
6. You're pretty. The world is kind to pretty women. I'm not a ravishing beauty, but I've gotten things because of my looks. I've gotten things because I can be smart sometimes, and charming sometimes. And I've been smacked down by people who didn't like me. It will happen to you. Don't worry about it. You can't please everyone.
7. Wear sunscreen. Oops, wrong homily.
8. Our real mothers, our birth mothers, the ladies who grew us in their tummy, are misty images that will never materialize into concrete forms. I'm not going to romanticize them. It's hard to love someone who deserted you, isn't it? I'll never ask you to do that, nor will I ask you to believe that she loved you. I don't know.
I hate that for you. I hate it for me. We didn't adopt from China to rescue you, we adopted from China because we couldn't have kids. You rescued me. I can't make this all right for you. But I can hold out a hand when you need it. Take it.
America persists in its naive belief that being able to grow a baby makes a person a competent mother. After working with child abuse cases for 30 years, that seems as quaint as...oh...."Just Say No"...or "Shock and Awe" ...or "trickle down economics."
You're going to run into a lot of people who get angry at you if you don't romanticize the whole reason you came into my life.
Ignore them.
9. We both have great fathers. You'll find this to be a double edged sword as you grow up. It's hard to find a man like Daddy. But on the other hand, complaining about having a great father is stupid and people will hate you when you do that. Be kind and remember that many people can't say that. Save the bitching for your therapist.
10. And finally..you complete me. You're the daughter I dreamed about as I packed my Scholastic books and clothes up at age 13. I knew I would have you in my life, and you would bring me more joy than I could possibly imagine as a child. Thank you for rescuing me.
Thank you for being the daughter of my heart. Thank you for being difficult, funny, surly, aggressive, angry, brilliant, sweet, creative, and sarcastic.
Thanks for being a daughter I can relate to.
all my love, all my heart,
and thanks for giving me the title I cherish over all others except for wife....
Mom
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