Birth Of A Bad Poet Laureate

I have christened myself as the Bad Poet Laureate Of The Internet. Perhaps you are wondering why I do not show myself clutching my Pulitzer.   It is because this category has, tragically, been overlooked.

It is my sincere hope that I can, with the sheer overwhelming genius of my poetry, correct this egregious error.

My friends, I grieve to announce that my adolescent diary has disappeared.   It will turn up.  That 19 cent green diary has a fiendish habit of disappearing over the years only to turn up when I least expect it.  In my darkest hours I wonder if my new 7th grader has absconded with it and is giggling over my angst with her friends.   That's perfectly all right.  I believe that a parent has a responsibility to install a sense of self esteem in a child.  Reading my feverish babble will certainly make my daughters feel like they are about 100000% cooler than I was, which is all for the good, I say.

But do not despair, for I have located some of my earliest works of genius.  Yes, I said it.   Genius.

Irmo High School published a collection of poems and stories entitled Lagniappe and I happen to have them sitting right here.  I found them after digging through the 8 sets of bookcases that I have in the garage, buried between How To Care For Your 1973 VW and Valley Of The Dolls.

Irmo High School had about 400 freshmen in 1974.  I don't know how many submitted poetry, but I was the only 9th grader who made the cut.  I was pretty proud of myself!

Here it is.  

But first, handwritten notes on the inside of the book:

I love this book!  Lorraine Callison, May 17, 1974

Note:  I was the only freshman to have a poem published.  2/25/78

Well, I guess I wanted to make sure that my biographers had that fact straight.

PRISONER


I've never seen a rainbow here
I never see the sky
Just silly gaping faces
Just people walking by.
I used to get angry at life
Until in a rage
I'd leap and snarl and roar
and start clawing at my cage!
But that just brought a keeper
With a shot to calm me down
(So I can play the clown)
The people I've seen don't care at all
They stare and go away
I can talk, but no one listens.
Someone listen to what I say!
There's lots of other animals here
But not one friendly face.
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
My life is such a waste!
You probably think you know who I am
You probably think you do,
I am an animal-yes, I am-
Prisoner in a human zoo.


-Lorraine Callison