Snobby McSnobbersons

The phone rings.  It's Meredith.  She's playing at her friend Daniel's house. Daniel is a nice boy. 

Daniel's family has one of those weird living arrangements where various members of the family live in different locations. Daniel lives with his aunt and one brother and his parents (I'm not sure if they are the original set) live with another brother elsewhere because the brothers don't get along and they have an assortment of mangy animals and our beloved yappy mongrel Spike Da Neutered Ladeez Man

was the result of an illicit summer romance between a chihuahua and a dachshund belonging to somebody in the family and I would be willing to bet one thousand dollars that he is the only dog from his litter who has been shot, neutered and dewormed but anyway Daniel is a nice boy and he and Meredith enjoy their time together so there you have it.

"Mom, can I have ten dollars?" she asks.

"No," I cheerfully reply.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to give you any money," I again cheerfully reply.

"How about a check?" she asks.

"Sorry, the bank is closed," I reply, a little testily.

"Mom....um.....could you loan Daniel's parents some money?"

I stare at the phone as if it had suddenly become radioactive.

"Huh?" 

"Could you loan Daniel's parents some money?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm disabledandunemployedandyourdadisretiredandonlyworks parttime" I hastily reply, using buzz words that I know will generate a spark of understanding.  "I might as well take the money and use it to light a cigarette rather than loan it to perfect strangers who would use a nine year old child to beg for money," might sound a little harsh, I'm thinking.

"Um...mom..."

"YES?"

"Could they maybe meet Daddy when he comes home from work and get some money?"

"NO, sweetie !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I reply, gently.

"But he loaned Julie's mom some money last year," she argued.  Meredith would make a fine lawyer, but strippers make more and probably have health and dental, so there you go. 

It's true.  Julie's mom needed $20.00 to go buy some lifesaving medicine and he loaned it to her and she paid it back and then two weeks later she needed $20.00 to buy gas to meet her son who was stranded somewhere and Sucker McSuckerson loaned it to her, and she did pay it back.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but we can't loan any money now," I reply once more.

"Okay, bye!" she replied. Click.

Two adults that I have never met, nor has Roger except for a quick hello twice,  asked their ten year old son to ask our nine year old child to ask her mother to borrow money.

I don't want to repeat the words I used to describe this incident to Roger, who agreed fully with my decision and suggested that Meredith not be allowed to visit the trailer where the parents live any more and I agreed with him in a rather loud, intemperate tone, considering we had four slumbering beasts lying around us:  Madeleine, Meredith, Spike and Callie.

Please don't use your child to ask me for money.

It's...okay maybe I'm just a Southern girl who was raised by her mama and daddy with certain rules of behavior...and maybe I'm too snobby for my pathetic britches but I have one word for this...

tacky.