As Told To....Holy Communion

Hi. I'm Madeleine. One more week of school, and I'll be a rising 6th grader. Nice to meet you.

This is my mom, Lorrie. She pretty much runs things around here.

Don't tell Daddy I said that.

Here she is again. Don't tell her, but she's sucking in her stomach as hard as she can, the gold jewelry cost $1.00 and her shirt cost $1.00. She got it at a consignment store. Plus she gets her hair done at Walmart. When I get big, I plan to be REALLY classy. Easy--I'll just ask mom where do stuck up people go who don't "know how to manage money and be thrifty" and then I'll go to where the stuck up people go.

ANYWAY, she made Daddy drive Meredith and me to stupid religion classes every Wednesday night for a whole YEAR so we could be baptized and receive Holy Communion as young Catholics. Then the women asked Daddy to be a substitute teacher a lot, so he got to teach 6th graders. Daddy's a real sucker. Don't tell him I said that either. He was raised Catholic, and we wanted to also 'cause all our cousins who live in Columbia are, and they're really cool. I mean like Alex, Kody, Kendall, and Logan rock.

Mom refuses to change from the Episcopal Church. She says when priests can be women and marry and when the Church blesses gay marriages, she'll reconsider her position. She says she took holy vows when she was confirmed Episcopalian, and that is that. Personally, I just think she's too lazy to go to religious school. Funny how she always picked that night to "work late."

I'd rather go swimming...note my newly pierced ears! Woot!

And Meredith would rather go swimming....

Or just chill and play with our puppy Callie....

But we have to do what adults tell us to. Totally bites.

So the first thing we had to do was get all dressed up. This is a picture from my Holy Communion in 2007.

And so is this one.

So naturally we had to go through the whole thing again with Mom screaming, "SMILE!" and Daddy screaming "We'll be LATE!"

I'm having so much fun I can hardly stand it.

Then we were off to church....

I gave Meredith some advice on how to fake looking all holy and good and stuff like that.

I think I did a good job, don't you?

Once I got Meredith all indoctrinated, I grabbed Mom's Iphone and started texting my friends. Mom is very understanding, I'll have to say. She says church is boring unless the priest has an interesting sermon or a good hymn she can sing. She sings horribly, but it's good and loud.

Finally it was over with and time for pictures.

Meredith shot this picture of Mom and Dad. Mom wore proper shoes in church, but brought her flip flops to change into afterwards.

More pictures...

Here we are with Daddy and his parents.

Meredith got some cool gifts, but nobody gave ME anything, so I ignored everybody and decided to text again.

And then we all went home and Meredith fell asleep early. It was a long day!

THE END.

holy communion
catholic