Roger prepares two bag lunches and breakfast
Two kids dress in uniforms.
Two kids dropped off at two different places.
Tuition checks written.
Roger drives 20 miles in one direction to work
I drive 40 miles in another direction to work
The kids are picked up at one place and we all limp home, homework is done by grumpy tired children and supervised by grumpy tired parents.
This is our routine this year:
I lie slumbering sweetly in bed as the rosy mist of dawn um, dawns. Roger gets the kids up, they dress how they please, he drives them 4 blocks to the nearest FREE institution of learning, where the class sizes are tiny. Mere has 14 classmates, Mad has 18. They all eat breakfast together and the kids eat a hot lunch at noon.
Roger comes home, takes a long nap, then fixes coffee and surfs the net for porn. JK, honey! Then he picks the kids up right after school. No more afterschool bills.
I get up and drive to work singing gaily with little bluebirds and butterflies joining in the chorus as they twitter around my head.
I come home from work and take a long nap while Roger supervises the (minimal so far) homework. Roger cooks dinner wearing nothing but a frilly apron, pearls, and a G-string. JK, honey!
Like. OMG. Like, far out, man.
So far the kids are thrilled with the school except that they aren't allowed to talk during lunch and the 4th graders only have 2 recesses a week. Madeleine quipped gaily, "They shouldn't call it Shady Lane Elementary School, they should call it Shady Lane MILITARY School!" Ah, yes, my tiny Mini-Me Snarker. Meredith's only comment is "FAB-U-LOUS!" She already has several new friends.
Like, my legs still hurt, but I'm trying a couple of new things. Reverse T3 therapy starting next week. Believe me, the explanation is boring. Otherwise, life is good.
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9 comments:
Tomorrow pack Madeleine a can of beef with spiced sauce, a canteen of water and two Lucky Strikes.
"But you said it was MILITARY school, dear..."
Can't talk at lunch? I guess small price to pay. We are already thinking of the Catholic/Public dilemma and they aren't even 8 months old, yet. Glad you're enjoying the routine!
Life is good. Your imagination is even better!
Oh no you didn't... Ack! Now I have to hear that song playing incessantly in my head! :)
And laughing over your descriptions of school past and present.
So glad the new school year is starting out so well. Loved the humor and images in this post. It is easier to be funny when you are not so tired and stressed out, isn't it.
Oh dear. The no-talking lunches brought back memories of the few years I went to a South Carolina elementary school. No talking, no elbows on the table, and us kids who brought our lunches had to fold and set out paper napkins for everyone while the hot-lunch kids got their food. Do they do these things anywhere else?!
You had me up until no talking at lunch and only two recesses a week. That stinks.
But the rest sounds good and your girl and her pal are a cute couple to be sure!
Roger cooks dinner wearing nothing but a frilly apron, pearls, and a G-string
That's not joking, that's your first step on the way to wish fulfillment.
When our eldest went to school, she had to have a regulation-sized lunch box with regulation-sized handkerchief to place beneath it. It had to be in a certain-sized lunchbox bag, and her indoor shoes also had to be brought to school in a bag with a drawstring of a precise length. But the worst thing of all was her math kit: hundreds of bits and pieces in it, and each one had to be labelled with her name. On the other hand, she talked her head off during lunch, and although the teachers noticed it, she wasn't penalized for it.
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