When I heard that a Major Motion Picture was being released dealing with the theme of adoption I knew that I had to comment on it, since I'm such an expert on adoption, and I know that y'all turn to me for guidance and wisdom and all, heh. (If you're new to the blog I'm adopted myself and adopted both of my children).
There's a letter circulating around on the adoption boards that warns adoptive parents against taking their kids to see this movie as the hero is abandoned at an orphanage and gets rejected by 114 families, etc.
You can read the plot summary here.
The people who've seen it say that the message is that you can let being adopted rule/ruin your life, or you can pick yourself up and go on. Now that sounds like something I can get behind.
I got a lot of flack about being a whiny 40ish adopted person back last fall when I wrote a series of posts imagining myself as my birthmother, and I've picked up a lot of flack over the years from angry adoptees claiming that I constantly emphasize the good points of being adopted without adequately exploring the feelings of loss that come with the territory, so ya know, you can't win and I don't pretend to speak for all adoptees anyway. All I can tell you about are my personal experiences with the topic.
The world for me changed on November 1, 2006 when my doctor looked at an ultrasound picture of a Thing in my body and turned to me with terror in her eyes. When the Thing turned out to be benign, I lost all interest in spending one more second of my life mourning the loss of my birth family.
Now, what to do about this movie?
I will take the kids to see it. I'm not going to tell them what to think about it. I'll just listen to what they have to say.
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8 comments:
Hey! I can suddenly comment after months of frustration. Wow! What to say on this momentous occasion? I didn't really expect it to work!
OK, now that I've got that out of my system, I'll just de-lurk as a long time reader and say that:
a) I'm thrilled for you that the thing turned out to be benign. I tried to post at the time, but couldn't do it for some mysterious reason.
b) I have no credibility whatsoever on this issue, not being adopted, an adoptive parent, or a birth parent. Nonetheless, I have always found your views on adoption issues sensible, and really respect your decision to celebrate your wonderful family.
I applaude you for looking at the brighter aspects of being adopted instead of dwelling on the negative parts. If more people would look at the glass as half full instead of half empty the world would be a better place for all of us.
I am so happy your thing was benign. In 1991 mine wasn't, but an operation and a few procedures later I was fine. Atually I was better, because I looked at life as if each day was a precious gift.
A benign thing is the best kind of thing.
Having my head in the sand, I had never heard of this movie. I'll have to check that one out! My kids have seen enough good and bad adoption movies that they can handle pretty much anything.
Hi--first timer to your blog and I'm enjoying reading your posts. As a blogging Dad with an adopted daughter from China, I always think that situations are perception based. If your perception is one that leans toward mourning, well then, you'll mourn. If it leans toward seeing the adoption process as a positive, well then ...
For me, having my daughter has been wonderful and when you see her smile, she seems pretty happy with the results so far.
Thanks for sharing!
I'll look forward to hearing what your kids say. I was going to post one of those warning letters on my own blog. It sounds like a good opportunity to teach older kids who can really process it, but something younger kids maybe shouldn't see until they can separate fiction from reality and talk a bit more abstractly.
I loved your posts when you put yourself in your birthmother's spot! And I worried when you were going through your trials just before Christmas but am glad to hear a happy ending. But even more importantly I admire you for letting your children have their own feelings about adoption and that you know the best thing any parent can do for their children is to listen to them rather than telling them what they should think and feel.
Why is his way of spelling like the floor of an oven? Because it benadryl is under bread.. But how rude, said Polly, not to morphine return the Governor's civility and Mrs.. It was not there, but Ralph was. levaquin. Why didn't you say: insulin 'We've-just-dropped-into-call-on-Miss-Champe.. To receive his good friend Buller at his own house in the beautiful upland region codeine in which he lived would have been a great joy to Mr...
Saw it. Loved it.
Sometimes, I think people just want everything to be part of a cause. This movie isn't about adoption any more than Snow White was "about" a girl with a step mother.
Donna
Our blog: Double Happiness!
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