Dear Scholastic Books,I remember you well from my childhood. I loved ordering books from you. They cost 50 cents apiece and I still have most of them, saved carefully for the daughter I knew I'd have one day. If I recall, we got a flyer every month back in the days when the Pony Express delivered books to our one room schoolhouse and we read our new books by the flickering light of the fire.
Now I know that we all have to make a dollar somehow, but do you really think it's necessary to send home flyers every week?
Every single week? Sometimes twice a week?
You do? Ok. Then let's move on to the next question I have.
What are these *(*&& CLUBS?
It all started when Madeleine brought home one of the weekly flyers and asked for a Spy Kit. Fine, we served bread & water for a few days and purchased it for her. She has enjoyed it immensely.
Imagine my surprise though when two flimsy, cheap walkie-talkies arrived in the mail six weeks later with a flyer identifying them as the "First Installment From the Monthly Spy Club!" Do you really, in good conscience, feel that those cheap plastic things are worth $16.79?
"That clever little minx," I thought lovingly to myself, "I bet she forged my signature and joined the club," as I searched for a tree branch the right size for a good thrashing.
The next item that Madeleine asked for was a Cheerleader Bear. Once again, we served bread and water and forked over $6.95 for a cheap little stuffed animal that probably cost you 13 cents to make.
Imagine my surprise and happiness when another letter arrived on Friday congratulating Madeleine on joining the Beary Special Bearrific Friends Cheerleading Club with a promise of monthly bears arriving!!!
After another go-round with the tree branch Madeleine adamantly denied ever forging my signature to anything, and I believe her. Apparently, you, dear Scholastic Book Club, you have placed some interesting stipulations in the fine print of your book order forms. I have not read them carefully, I admit, relying on the good will and good feeling engendered in the past for supplying me with a large supply of excellent books that brightened my childhood.
But I assure you one thing. I will be reading your flyers carefully in the future.
And, oh, yeah, don't hold your breath about getting that $16.79 check in the mail for the walkie talkies.
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10 comments:
It is the school/teacher choosing to participate at whatever rate they want, not Scholastic pushing anything.
We ordered a club thing by accident once and they canceled it without a problem. I knew some things on the back of the flyer each time were clubs, but my son's grade reward frenzy over took my reading skills at that moment.
Yikes! The land of infinite commerce is getting the better of us, it seems.
It's all about turning a buck - who cares about the kids, anyway.
I too remember when Scholastic only sold books via a flyer a couple times a year. Yes, they were thin, cheap volumes, but they were books. It was thrilling to get that short stack of reading material to call my own.
It's a different game now though - Scholastic is about corporate greed. The real challenge is in teaching your child to see through the manipulative tactics being used on her. Not an easy task.
I am laughing out loud, my 5 year old preschooler is getting these too sent home in the school bag. I try to carefully ditch them before she has a chance to beg for whatever captures her eye.
Remember when the box arrived and the teacher dispensed the order? Good times. I'm not looking forward to LSP's tantrums when we won't let her get the mini spy kit. But at least forewarned is forearmed.
Wow, I never read the fine print, either. I hope I haven't already joined some clubs.
My daughter's school has book fairs, which I think make things harder to resist than ordering, and while there are $3.99 books (about equivalent to 50c back in caveman days when I was in elementary school), there are also a lot of electronic $25 things that piss me off, as well as $4 gewgaws that ADD UP fast.
Kate has a $25 limit, with a little wiggle room, and the only things we'll buy that aren't books are school supplies.
If she wants a sparkly Barbie or Disney thing that barely counts as a book, she can spend her own money.
I lost many of my old Scholastic favorites in a fire. Ebay has replaced many of them for me.
ahhhh.......nothing like good juvenile fiction.
Dadorama
Yes! Yes! Thank you for this. I have the same fond memories, and the same disgust for their current commercialism. Half the items in the flyer are toys now, NOT books. I finally made the rule that we would order books but nothing that involves merchandise. I guess that's how we've avoided the club trap. (BTW, I think the schools get a percentage or free books -- that's why they push it.)
I am laughing so hard because although I haven't had any "messages in a backpack" yet, I teach school Sundays. We send home some stuff that I just know the parents aren't reading. They just fill it out mindlessly. On the other hand, I usually toss all the "garbage" out of Erin's backpack.
Just last week I threw out her camp registration paperwork. Oops!
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