FIRST ACT:
Time: Night before Valentine's Day
MEREDITH (on right) Mom, how do you spell 'sister'?
ME: S-I-S-T-E-R.
MEREDITH: Ok! Thanks! (runs off)
Five minutes later
MEREDITH (proudly) Here's your Valentine's Day card! Madeleine, here is one for my SISTER! Here, Daddy!
ME: Why thank you, sweetie! (hug) (Loudly) I can't wait to get one from Madeleine!
SECOND ACT
Time: 9:00 PM, Valentine's Day
ME: Madeleine, where is my Valentine's Day card?
MADELEINE: I don't feel like making you one.
ME: Darling, I need to explain a few things to you. You are a wonderful chid. You have a wonderful mother. (points to self). Your wonderful mother does many wonderful things for you, like making homemade brownies for your class party, buying Girl Scout cookies, purchasing worthless Scholastic Spy Club trinkets for your wonderful hobby of spying. Your mother spends almost every minute of every day thinking of or doing something wonderful for you. However, your wonderful mother might not be quite so, shall we say, motivated to spend all this time in wonderfulness if she wasn't recognized by her wonderful daughter for all of the wonderful things that she does for you.
MADELEINE (sulkily) mmmmmmmmmph.
Time: 10:00 PM, Valentine's Day
MADELEINE: Come here, Mom! (points to laptop) I don't have a printer attachment, but HERE IS YOUR CARD! A lovely American Greetings E-Card plays on the screen.
ME: Thank you, my precious one! (To myself) Lazy, digitally minded, but deep down loving. My tiny, evil soulmate. Now it's time to whip up a card for my husband as fast as possible on the computer.
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3 comments:
That is really funny! Does the apple not fall far from the tree?
Keep smilin!
Guilting your own child into making you a Valentine’s Day card? You’re a woman after me own heart, ya are!
You know how they say... may you be cursed with kids just like you!
I said that to my kids just this evening.
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