It was a good vacation at Myrtle Beach, if you enjoy paying $115 a night (for 115 degree temperatures) and swimming in an overcrowded pool populated with tattooed bikers while you wistfully think of the private pool in your back yard.
But no parent died (August 1, 1997), there was no cold snap down to 60 degrees (July, 1997), I did not run a fishhook in my toe (July, 1996) or a nail in my foot (April, 1980) and Roger did not get a tooth infection necessitating a root canal (August, 2000) or the flu (August, 2001).
I did actually watch a car accident. A minor one, but it was weird to see the front of the car crumple in front of my eyes.
Oh, and Madeleine did have an attack of "appendicitis" (diagnosed by me, Dr. Google, taking into account the Beach Curse) which turned out to be an acid stomach from drinking too much lemonade.
Things heard around the beach:
"Hot enough for you?" (23,434 people)
"If you think THIS is hot, just think how OUR TROOPS ARE DOING!" (Waitress at Friendly's, or Unfriendly's)
"Those baby sharks preserved in a jar (on sale at every beach shop) were not KILLED, Madeleine. They died of NATURAL CAUSES at a SHARK HOSPITAL. And they are LIVING WITH JESUS now. Um, no, I'm not sure which disease they died of."
"I don't care that the kids are asleep. I don't care that you gave them melatonin, valium, vodka, chloroform, and bound and gagged them. This motel room is G rated."
"There's a Wisconsin tag. I wonder if he said 'Hey Hon! Let's spend $1000 on gas to drive cross county into 115 degree heat!'"
"Is it air conditioned? WELL air conditioned?" (said about each suggested activity)
"Madeleine I know I said it was hot as Hell, but Hell isn't this hot. It's just a place where they make you eat ONE THOUSAND CARROTS a day."
"Thank God that's over with."
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10 comments:
Carrots killed the sharks.
Pls tell me that's a picture of a beach in Hawaii and NOT your typical beach in S.C.?
I would actually drive that far, pay that much and only go up in 15 degree increments....it is hot here but the beach would have to make it feel better.
Beats my vacation... an educational three days in Washington DC. Same heat, no beach. And the hotel was more.
Ha! One thousand carrots. NOPE! Hell is where they make you eat things like spinich, fish and avacados.(Hell is apparently my mothers kitchen)
I think the Myrtle Beach curse is true. My roommates and I went there for Spring Break and March and we got hit by a car (no kidding!) on our way back to Virginia. Granted we were at South of the Border but still...we came from the beach.
Oh and by the way, i ended up with a broken leg, my other roommate with a broken rib, and a third one with really bad cuts on her feet.
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Haha! That sucks. I HATE the heat. Much rather stay home on the couch. Still, the photo is nice. Except the melty edges.
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