Bedtime. Heartbroken sobs emanate from the tiny body belonging to Madeleine.
"I saw something at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and I'm afraid of H....H....e....double toothpicks?" ... desperate sobs....
"You mean Hell?" asked Roger as Madeleine clung to him.
"DON'T SAY THAT WORD!"..... desperate sobs.....
"Move," I ordered, peremptorily shoving Roger away and taking her in my arms. "Now listen to me, because I know everything."
Ok, we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean-Dead Man's Chest on Saturday and she was watching tv at her grandparents' house. They're good people and would have never frightened her, but she must have seen something.
"I...I can't talk about it...." sobs.
"LISTEN TO ME. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HELL. There's a place called...um... Purgatory. You know how sometimes we give you time-outs when you've been bad? Ok, so when you die, if you've been bad, y'know like KILLED somebody, then God sends you there, just like a time-out, so you can do good things to make up for doing bad things on Earth. Ok?
Now it wouldn't be FAIR if you did all good things and somebody else killed a billion trillion people and they just got to go to Heaven right along with you, right? So what if somebody says 'I'm not sorry I killed a billion people!' Maybe God sends him to Hell until he's sorry, but then he gets a chance to do good things and say 'I love Jesus' and make up for it!"
sobs, subsiding into whimpers.
You're a CHILD OF GOD. GOD LOVES YOU. You can always trust God to take care of you, just like you can always trust Mommy and Daddy, right!"
To paraphrase Steely Dan, they've been telling me you're a genius since you were seventeen months. I bet you remember lying in that cold orphanage bed with a tummy ache and nobody to comfort you, don't you?
do you remember the day your flesh and blood placed you on a street corner all alone?
whimpers.
"Now sometimes Mommy and Daddy make you...um....apologize to somebody, or clean up a mess. That's what God does if you're bad, and then after you clean up the mess, then you get to go to Heaven! HE LOVES YOU!! Why would he ever be MEAN to you?"
why are there millions of children suffering tonight as you lie on your leather sofa after a huge dinner? hmm, let me know when you find out, ok?
"blllpfffffffft! excuse me...."
I lean in closer. "You just pooted, and you know what that means. You know you can trust Mommy and Daddy and God to take care of you. So, I'm going to take REAL good care of you. Daddy, bring me the belt so I can whup that big butt."
giggles...drifts off to sleep.
Sleep tight. While I lie awake.
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7 comments:
The theology of abuse, abandonment, and neglect is a bitch. I have no idea how I'll make God out to be the good guy when my children have suffered for up to a decade. It makes me feel better that you were able to satisfy Madeline. Maybe I'll be able to do the same.
Awwww :)
Good mothering. Thank you. But the doctrine of damnation is very clear and consistent down through centuries. You're probably going to Hell just for writing this, if the true believers are right. Fortunately, they're not.
Poor baby.
Awww, so sweet.
Love this. And please, if you figure out why there is so much horror in the world, please post it.
It keeps a lot of us awake at night.
I thank God for Purgatory. Feel bad for those who don't believe that our loving God would give us a place for a "time out" before we truly meet him. Your a wise mommy.
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