International adoption was still a pretty rare phenomenon back in 1998, but most people that we told were very happy for us. One friend told me that we should stick to our own kind, but then she called back later and said that she had seen a Chinese kid in the library with a Caucasian woman, and the kid was cute, so she guessed it was ok.I've been waiting a long time for the conversation. The one where I would have a chance to unleash my venom on a deserving person. Yet the years flew by and nobody ever said anything mean. Oh yeah, lots of "are they real sisters" questions, but nothing with any malice.
Today we exited church following mass (and believe me this is a strange thing for me to write) and we heard "ROOOOGGGAHHHHH!!!"
Rogggahhhhh is always being recognized after mass, because he was raised here and attended the local Catholic schools. Today the person recognizing him wheeled over. His obsese body was stuffed into an ill fitting sweatsuit showing an unseemly expanse of naked belly.
I had heard stories about this man. I'll call him Dick. Dick and Roger had played basketball together in high school. Dick had developed MS many years ago and had apparently turned into a mental case.
"DO YOU REMEMBER ME?" Dick hollered. Roger couldn't think of his name.
Finally Dick identified himself. "SO WHY DINCHA YOU HAVE YOUR OWN KIDS?" he tactfully inquired.
Roger, taken aback, replied..."Well..we didn't feel like it."
"SO YOU HADDA GO AND GET SOME LITTLE FURRINERS, EH?" he asked. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICAN KIDS?"
"That's who we....decided to adopt...." Roger replied.
The little furriners were oblivious to the conversation. They were chatting and climbing all over the playground equipment.
What was I doing? Why I was standing there with a frozen, stunned, lunatic smile on my face. Circuits were misfiring so fast in my head that I'm amazed I didn't have smoke coming out of my eye sockets. We're having a conversation after church with an old school friend of my husband who is saying this?
"I have MS, you know,"Dick continued. "I'm just wondering....if God leads you to...if you could help me some. My family has disowned me and I'm all alone in the world...."
I came up with a real snappy comeback.
"Come along children, let's go explore the old cemetery. Nice to meet you, Dick." I smiled politely and walked away, my heels clicking on the sidewalk.
As I explored the old tombstones, I thought about it.
I could have taken off his head if I had my wits about me. But this man had been hanging around the church, in a wheelchair, begging old friends for money while simultaneously insulting and ridiculing them.
I was glad I didn't engage. Why argue with a madman? Why give him the sick, twisted satisfaction...
Madeleine came up to me and I pointed out the inscription on a tombstone.
Reginald Patrick White, MD
Died 1875 at age 30 while fighting a yellow fever epidemic.
He aided his suffering and dying patients until the third plague hit.
He dropped after hours of tireless service
I'd rather think about Reginald Patrick White, M.D.
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9 comments:
I'm finding that at times, the best thing to say is nothing at all. I just have problems deciphering which are THOSE times.
Ya, walking away from...that type of person...was a good move. And then, what you found was uplifting?
I'd rather think about Reginald Patrick white, too. Good on you for taking the high road.
I thought it might help you to know that MS actually seriously affects the brain. My cousin has it, and now can't speak at all. Before it completely took his brain away, he would talk a lot and it usually came out pretty rude. He pretty much turned into a child again. A loud, rude child. It wasn't his fault at all though, it was because of the MS. He turned into a completely different person and no longer had any sense of propriety. So try not to feel too offended by this guy, it sounds like it was totally the MS talking.
Wait! But HOW MUCH MONEY did your husband slip to the offensive cripple?
Your tongue is much tamer than mine and you should a lot of grace.
I was also wondering how much your husband gave him.
You're a bigger, more Christian-like person than I am, that's for sure.
People like Dick are exactly why I don't go to church. It's the, you know, hypocrisy.
My brother has MS and he says whatever comes into his head, but since, after having MS for 13 years and having no obvious symptoms, I can only guess that his behavior is from the medications that he takes to make him "feel" better about having MS.
I'm sure that the real version of MS probably does have a huge impact on your brain function, including what a person says.
Also, complete ignorance can make one say assinine (sp?) things too.
You behaved like a lady. You should get an award for "Behaving extremely lady-like in the presence of a moron spewing senseless idiocy, while secretly resisting primordial urges to slap his fucking face."
I asked Roger yesterday, and he said that Dick was one of those types who tries real hard to be funny and is just obnoxious--was like that back in high school before he developed MS.
I'm going to have to work on this. I really am. I just know I'll not be the person I should be. I'll fire. And fire hard. Hopefully, not in front of Alyzabeth An.
I've got to work on this...
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