My prom dress-unworn. I tried to get into it, but I couldn't afford surgery to have my upper ribs removed.Roger is currently coaching and working at a high school. We will call it Ipod High. Roger is also, you will recall, married to Teh Crazy.
Yesterday, I began a conversation like this:
Me: Honey, do you know when Ipod High is having their prom?
Roger: (stunned look of poleaxed steer) Excuse me?
Me: Oh, well, I just wondered if maybe you could volunteer to chaperone.
Roger: Well, I can't. I'm having sharp steel needles poked into my skull that night, sorry.
Me: But you don't even know what night it is!
Roger: Well, I'll be sure to schedule my needle appointment for that night.
Me: (whimpering) I just want to go to a prom before I die......
Ok, so I hang around with a mom who loves that phrase. "I just want you to write a book before I die." "I just hope my grandchildren get baptized before I die." Somehow, though, a healthy 40ish woman saying it just doesn't have the proper ring of pathos. But I stole the line anyway.
I have never been to a prom.
I started my career at Irmo High School with several goals in mind:
1. To get kissed on a beach at midnight by a guy who looked like David Cassidy, or, failing this goal:
2. To get kissed on a beach at midnight by a guy who was actually a breathing human.
3. To go to the prom with a guy who looked like David Cassidy, or, failing this goal:
4. To go to the prom with a guy who would stand next to me for the Prom Picture which I would then casually snap out of my wallet at the slightest provocation to show to all my envious girlfriends.
5. To graduate with honors and receive a scholarship to a university.
Need I tell you that the only goal I achieved was #5?
I was a practical young lady and owned a mirror. So I determined that aggressive action needed to be taken to achieve the first four goals. I had absolutely no trace of shyness. I was prepared to tackle boys at gunpoint if necesary.
NAMING NAMES
I'd like to thank MARTY KNEECE for kindly accepting my invitation to slow dance with me for the first time to "Jesus Christ Superstar."
I'd like to thank BARRY BOATMAN for holding my hand as we skated around the rink.
Now let's examine the unsuccessful attempts to get a prom date.
Junior year: I asked TOM HAYNES --who was in my Bible Study Class--to the prom. He went to a different high school. Tom gracefully declined, stating that he was going on a class field trip to New Orleans that week.
Then I asked JERRY LONG. He actually accepted. My mom went to work on the above prom dress, which is still a pretty, classic dress.
Two days later, HE TURNED ME DOWN.
Jerry: Um, about that prom thing.
Me: (breathlessly) Yes?
Jerry: I changed my mind. I just don't want to take you.
Me: Don't worry about it. I'm psychic and can see into the future. This is good practice for 1988 when my fiance will break up with me because "I changed my mind. I just don't want to marry you."
I didn't have the heart to tell Mom while the dress was laid out on the sewing table. I knew that the next year I would get a prom date.
Senior year: I asked TOM HAYNES again. This time--and I am so not kidding here--he told me that he was GOING TO PARIS.
I gave up.
I still haven't been to a prom. Do you think I'll have a chance to go before I die????
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20 comments:
If it makes you feel any better, my prom date ditched me for the Fonz. A week before the big night, he told me that Henry Winkler was coming to talk at his temple and he wanted to go to that instead.
I never made it to a a prom either. Our 50th class reunion was this year so I guess it's out of the question for me.
(Didn't get to that either).
I went to my prom with the ex-girlfriend of my best friend about 2 weeks after they broke up.
Is that BAD?
(and we're still friends to this day - the girl, I mean)
I went to prom senior year with a boy that I forced myself to go out with all year just so I would have a date to prom. My biggest memory of prom was that of disappointment because I thought prom would be a fabulously magical experience and it was all the same kids from high school all dressed up and drunk, just a regular dance only more formal. After prom, we were making out at a golf course and the police pulled us out of the car and wanted to know what we were doing. The fact that we were two totally nerdy kids in prom attire got us off. Now I am a photographer so I get to relive prom over and over. The really good-looking, popular kids look great in their pictures. The rest of them, I do what I can, but they usually look sweaty and really nervous (because they are). I still love doing proms and other dances because I love seeing the kids and what they're wearing. I have to say prom is way more fun at age 44 than it was at 17.
Liz
i never went to prom either. didn't ask anyone and was never asked, yet somehow i survived! i can't even imagine going to a prom or wanting to in all honesty. though i hope my son will be more 'with it' than i was.
If Roger won't take you, ask one of his colleagues... seriously! Maybe it will light a fire under him.
Besides, no matter what you looked like in high school, you are hot now! May as well enjoy it.
I didn't get to Prom in 1976 either. My boyfriend who was in college and working full time didn't see the need to take a night off. After all, he'd already been to the prom.
My girls made up for my not going - one went to 2 proms and the other to 4 of them.
Son went to his. His dad told him, "ake the night off, son, just in case you end up marrying her. Trust me, you do not want to spend the rest of your life listening to her tell people how you wouldn't take the night off to take her to the Prom."
I work in a high school, one of these days I'm making him take me to Prom to make up for that one. Come to think of it, we ought to go this year since it's the 30th anniversary of the one we didn't make.
I went to Prom. So not worth it. Get with some girlfriends and go do something more fun than standing awkwardly around in an uncomfortable dress and shoes.
I didn't go to my prom (1988), either. But as a teacher, I planned the Junior (1995) and Senior (1996) Proms where I worked. I have to say, I really regretted not going to my own prom. But when I was the teacher, I think I had more fun those nights than I would have as a kid. I didn't have to do the whole hair-and-makeup thing but I still got all those fun prom pictures. (Plus, I got to actually drink a leisurely glass of wine before each of those proms!!) Tell Roger the prom is a MUCH better experience as an adult. By the way, I haven't resented missing my own prom in the past 10 years.
I went to the proms my sophomore year and my senior. I didn't go my jr. year and my mom was more upset about that than I was. It was fun and I'm glad that I went but......
Anyway, I'll come and babysit your kids so that you can go when Roger asks you!
I didn't go either, Lorrie. At least in high school (1974/75). And yes, my mom made me a dress that didn't get worn then (but I did wear it to the Military Ball at Furman (1977)). I did go to my college prom -- yes, Furman had a prom -- junior year. I was on the planning committee. When I didn't get asked, and when all the guys I asked turned me down, my RA's boyfriend arm-twisted his roommate into taking me. We do what we need to do.
Yes, the desires of youth, sometimes fulfilled, sometimes unfulfilled. If it is really that important for you to go to a prom, you should arrange to do it, just so you can put it behind you.
Oh, you so hit the jackpot with #5!!! I went to both proms and just ended up with taffeta and chiffon pulled up around my waist, in the cab of my boyfriend's pick-up truck, in the woods, after about three songs - and three spiked cups of punch. I have "lovely" memories of being a drunken slut. My boyfriend did not look like David Cassidy unfortunately. He had a bad perm and a horrible beard of the kind that can only be grown by a teenager. Also, he was a very bad kisser.
I agree with your mom about that book!
well I did go to prom but I would KILL to go again! have a fabulous time (needle head date and all!)
My dh is a high school teacher as well, and also refuses to chaperone the prom! I always tell him to so we can go but he won't.
I got turned down by the 2 guys I asked to the prom my junior year and the guy I went with my senior year is now gay. But, it was still kind of fun.
I think goal #5 is the best goal, at least that is what I keep telling my little daughter. Maybe if I tell her enough that smart is better than pretty, she will believe it? I'm still hopeful -- she's only 19 months old.
For what it's worth, I didn't go to my prom. It wasn't the "cool" thing to do. I used to regret it, but now, eh? Not so much.
I went to the prom and it wasn't worth it. Seriously. The time and money and anxiety...for what basically amounted to a glorified school dance with some hotel room keg parties. My cool older boyfriend got wasted and passed out on me. How's that for romance? lol
You're funny as hell, CCG. Where have you BEEN the last five months?
I am going to find Tom Haynes and kick him in the nuts. (p.s. he was probably gay, one of my prom dates was)
Oh my! My husband graduated from Irmo - 1985!
I went to the prom by myself. How humiliating right? I had a blast.
I have to admit, you seem to have a very well put together blog here!
Regards,
Disposable Camera
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