Before I had kids, the question of whether the small humans could, or should, dine at restaurants really was not on the radar. I figured that all life forms deserved sustenance, and had no problem with that rather elementary concept.
Little did I know until I began my perilous surfing on the choppy waves of the Net that there is vociferous disagreement out there. The ensuing debate, well, let's just say that it is, um, peppy. Doesn't that sound nice? I don't see how anybody could object to a sleeping child at a restaurant, but apparently Amalah and her husband have received some snotty comments.
One side of the argument goes something like this:
You moos (the affectionate nickname for mothers) and duds (the affectionate nickname for dads) should leave your snot infested, poop shooting, screaming, little crotchdroppings at HOME! We're civilized people out here and our serene and happy life is tragically interrupted whenever we are forced to interact in any way with small children. Why, this morning I was at the deli and a 2 year old smiled at me and I snarled at his fat moo, "Get that little bastard out of my face!" and then he started to cry and the fat moo said something like "Go suck yourself" and I said "In your face worthless breeder" ......
To be fair, the other side of the argument goes something like this:
I saved up all year from my illegally scammed insider trading profits to be able to take my wife to La Snobberie for her birthday. While we were trying to enjoy our $39.99 braised snail embryos in a tomato-basil aspic sauce dusted with saffron paprika, we were tormented throughout the meal by the screaming of a tired, crabby toddler who should have been in bed hours ago. His clueless parents simply ignored his screaming. Soon they put him down where he ran all over the restaurant, nearly tripping a waitress.....
So.
Can we talk?
I didn't think so.
Let's just establish one thing. Kids aren't going away. We hard working young (Ha! I do crack myself up) parents enjoy a civilized meal out once in awhile, and we deserve it.
Now let's talk about babysitters. We have a pool. We have the internet. We have alcohol. We are not allowing a teenage babysitter to surf the net while surreptitiously snarfing Jack and Coke while the kids climb the pool fence for a solo swimming expedition.
Ain't happening. Never hired a teenager, never will.
We have always taken our kids along when we eat out. (shrug) If you object to children in fine dining establishments, don't worry. We can't afford and are really not interested in the posh places. We're semi vegetarians and don't eat the heavy meat and cream dishes usually offered here in the South at the expensive restaurants.
I completely agree about whiny, loud, ill behaved children, too. Tiny toddlers should be in bed if they're fussy. Take the kid out of the restaurant if he's disturbing the other diners. That's simple common courtesy.
But my kids learned to behave. They learned to behave at restaurants by being at restaurants. I don't know how else to put this, but I'm taking my well behaved children to a museum, deli, movie, restaurant, gas station, shopping mall, hairdresser, car repair shop, brothel, whatever, any time I want. If they misbehave I will deal with them immediately and ferociously and we will leave.
Feel free to glare.
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12 comments:
How about feel free to agree? Will that work?
Mine learned early if they don't behave, we leave. And I wouldn't take mine to the type of restaurant you described. They'd be bored out of their little skulls.
I'd save that excursion for just the two of us. I have good friends and we exchange babysitting plus my daughter is usually around.
What I don't get about these baby haters calling moms moos is...do they call their own mothers that too? Do they wish they had never been born? Because I am pretty sure that THEY were once toddlers too, and threw more hissy fits than the average child. Sheesh...
And I agree...the only way kids learn to behave in certain situations is to be IN those situations. What a cornhead...
Totally agree. Parents have an inherent responsibility to teach polite behavior out in public, but they also have a right to get a chance to TEACH that behavior out in public.
Heck, there are rude and badly behaved adults out there in public.
Same thoughts on rights and so forth.
I agree that children need to be exposed to situations in order to know what is the correct behavior. Sounded pretty pompous there didn't I? and probably spelled it wrong. It took several excursions to the real world, shopping, dining, whatever before my son learned what he could and could not pull. One thing is that if he started to act up, I got on him about it, whether it was to make him sit or to leave the place completely.
So I agree with your post, was that clear from above or not? Sorry if it wasn't.
The first eleven days we had Sarah, she only ate in five star hotel restaurants. She knows how to behave, instinctively. Rachel, on the other hand, only spent 5 of 11 days eating at a five star, so she was less civilized. But they both had their moments.
However, their Mama is The Meanest Mama In The World, and taught them manners and the consequences of losing those manners. And my well-behaved kids go everywhere as well.
If I get glares because my kids are breathing too loudly, I'll glare back.
It isn't parents like you all that make for rampant child haters in public places. It is the parents who think their little precious can do no wrong, that their every scream in your ear or drool on your knee at dinner is "cute". Oh and the parents that are so brow beaten by their own children that they don't hear them anymore and are just grateful to dilute their terrorism with multiple targets for it in a public place.
Not all children should be taken out to nicer restaurants (some really are the spawn of satan) and not all parents know the difference apparently.
Sheeit, a newborn infant isn't learning anything by "eating" at a five-star restaurant. And I respectfully disagree that you have to take a kid to a restaurant to teach them how to act right in a restaurant. I think your girls are living proof, Lorrie, that you've clearly done something right AT HOME because they know how to behave out in public. And then there are some kids who are just too wiggly and squirrely to behave well anywhere, including school, and since going to restaurants is rarely necessary (unlike going to school) why don't parents of unruly children just delete going to restaurants for a while? Entitlement? Cluelessness? I don't know.
That having been said, I don't really care what people do. I just don't want babies at movies. And I agree strongly with your "no teenage babysitter" sentiment.
xoxo
I was going to add my 2 cents but everyone else pretty much summed it up. So...yeah, what they said!
If a child can behave in a restaurant then they should go. My goddaughter was taken to a really nice restaurant with us. We dressed her up and made a fuss about her good manners and she was an angel. The waiters and matre'd complemented her parents and said they wished all kids were like that.
However, I have been at a "high end" restaurant where a couple had 2 kids who were AWFUL!. They ran around yelling and screaming. One TRIPPED THE WAITER on purpose! The waiter was carrying a load of dishes and the kid nearly avoided being hit with them as they went crashing down. What did the parents do? SCREAMED at the waiter for not being careful of her little darling. They were escorted out of the restaurant to applause--and had the gall to threaten to sue the waiter.
I agree that children need to learn how to behave in a restaurant, but they also have to be daught. I'm going to keep me anon for this one....
Quoth the Happy Heathen:
I take my kid everywhere and have consistently done so since her arrival. As such, she is well-behaved in "restaurants, museums, brothels, whatever..." How the h*ll else can you train them to behave appropriately in public? (Leaving aside the question of those ill-bred IDIOTS who won't discipline their kids)
Moo, my fanny.
Wow, the things that are going on out there of which I am unaware. Which I guess is good because our kids eat out a lot. But we limit ourselves to restaurants that are family friendly for the most part. And yes, yes, yes about all that stuff about if they act up we leave right away, etc. etc. I wonder if this is a regional thing? Anyway, the interents. People will argue about ANYTHING.
Loved your post, especially about babysitters. I have many friends who think I am crazy for not hiring local teens, and while I am sure they are great , rsponsible kids, I just can't do it. I would be worried the whole time I was gone. And not that they would be drunk, or having sex on the couch whil emy daughte watched, but that in an emergency, they would not respond well. OK with kids in restaraunts, just think parents should be realistic about their children's abilities and not set them up to fail by going late, to a formal rest, etc.
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