February 21, 1959
Retreat For The Sick Hospital
Richmond, Virginia
Quote from the only letter I ever received from my birth mother. I'll post the whole letter in a few days..I just found it after many years while searching for Daddy's letter.
This is the story..you were a result of a date rape. Did they call it that back then, no. The boy responsible was of course a jerk--and I have long since blotted out the memory of him and the ordeal. Abortion was illegal back then.
Here is a letter that my Daddy wrote the night of February 20, 1959, the night before the big pickup.
Dearest,
You're asleep by now, Pretty...I just got to the kitchen and poured my milk, but I'm sure you must be alseep!
Since I always seem to talk better with a pen 'n' paper, I spec' I'll have a few words with you now.
First off, I need to thank you for being so wonderful. You'll just never know how much it has meant to me to have you to love me and encourage me through these trying months. It's been a strain on you, too but you've been such a pillar of strength for me that...well, I just couldn't have carried on without you!
And now, in addition to all your other virtues, you're about to become a mother! Just think of it! Mother Ruth! Isn't it wonderful? I think so...I'm so proud of you I'm just about to bust wide open! I surely hope..and pray..that our little girl will be as sweet and wonderful and intelligent and kind as you. And I'm sure she will be. As sure as I'm sitting here too, there will be times of heartache and troubles and tensions as well as much happiness in the future. That's life--it's also God's will..and we must never lose sight of the fact that the problems which beset us can always be overcome if we maintain our faith in God.
Also, I'm about to become a father. The prospect is a little frightening, but it sounds wonderful too. I'm beset by all kinds of doubts as to my ability in that category...and yet, I believe...I believe that God would not have given us the opportunity to know and have Miss Lorrie had he not thought us capable of being her parents. Just call me Dad, Mom!
I'm sleepy too, so think I must join you now..Remember, Pretty, I love you and I always will...in all ways...G'Nite and
Lotsa love,
Grady, Father-t0-be
Dr. H. Grady Callison, Jr.
a gentleman and a scholar
1922-1997
Posts
22 comments:
Wow!
Oh goodness gracious, I am sobbing buckets over here.
THAT was beautiful (your daddy, of course).
I am so glad that you were adopted as well.
Lorrie, I'm not a big believer in God but this letter is so touching, as are so many of your posts that express your love for your daughters, that it's difficult not to believe in something warm and wonderful. I don't know if that's God, but . . .
I love reading your blog for so many reasons - your intelligent and sometimes self-deprecating humor and your warmth.
And that picture . . . I can almost feel their love for you by looking at it. It's just amazing.
Your birthmom sounds like she was having a rough time. I hope life was more gentle for her later.
Your dad's letter and the photograph are truly beautiful. It makes me happy just looking at your mom and dad's faces.
Amazing. Just amazing.
Lorrie,
What a beautiful letter! And such a stark and tragic contrast to your birthmother's letter. That your mother and father are and were such fine people is no surprise -- after all, they raised you -- but that letter is such a testament to their love for each other and for you. I tear up every time I read it.
Edie
That is so beautiful.
Wow- That was truly beautiful. I wish all husbands were that wonderful, all wives were that loved, and all children were that cherished and grew up knowing it.
I found your site through another family member's site. I check back from time to time to see what is going on with you and your family. What an amazing letter from your father to your mother. Thank you for sharing it. I am especially touched on this Valentine's Eve.
You were/are treasured by your family.
How utterly beautiful. This actually made me cry, and I don't even know you! Thank you so much for sharing.
How to make a snarky beyotch cry: read this post. How beautiful. Your dad sounds like he was a helluva guy.
oh, i am all teary and i am so glad to have read that beautiful letter because my day has been really sucky and to see such evidence of grace is a blessing... what a lucky girl you are to have had such an eloquent and tender father.
Thanks for that post - so pretty - I'm glad I read it on Valentine's Day. That's true love, for sure!
And thanks for commenting at my house about Cecily's blog - not sure which comment you mean - but I appreciate it nonethless!
Your girls are too cute, by the way!
Wow - what a beautiful letter from your Dad. And that picture - what a treasure!! Thanks for sharing.
Did you try to find your biological father? I'd keep in mind that there are two sides just in case you rejected that option from what your biological mother had to say.
I have a friend who's kids were adopted from Koreah. Once they were grown, the whole family went to visit the kids' birth family. I think all of them appreciated that chance to do so. The kids stay in touch with the biological families but their Dad is still their Dad in their minds, no question.
And THAT is why I read your blog. Thank you for sharing.
This is just so damn wonderful. So glad you've got that on paper to keep forever. Emily has a sheet of notebook paper with a short note from her Daddy about how he loves her. We had it framed for safekeeping. He wasn't as literate as yur father, but the love notes I have are all precious.
I can't get in here often to comment, but I am keeping up with your posts via bloglines now.
This is a wonderful, touching and moving letter. You can be so proud of you parents. Thank you for letting us read it!
Prom, I got a response from her in 1991. I'll post the whole thing in a few weeks. She seemed so sincerely distressed that I had located her that I just shoved the letter--and the pain--into a drawer and tried to forget about it. The letter pretty much implored me to stay AWAY FOREVER.
I'm just now, after 15 years, catching my breath. I'll post more about my thoughts on further info/contact after I have a chance to think...I just found the letter after 10 years. It hurt me so badly I could barely stand it.
I often wonder if it was a real date rape. If I ever met my birth father I would be happy to listen to his side of the story. Even in my day I knew stories of guys who just wouldn't take no for an answer and in the atmosphere of that time, pre-AIDS, nobody thought it was that awful, just sort of rude. My point is just that I don't intend to classify him as evil without knowing more. After all, I have his blood and I'm just so freaking wonderful (grin)
I am in tears, so so sweet. Inspiring even. Thanks for sharing that.
So what happened to the posts about your birth mother's letter? Did you delete them?
Yes, Anon, I did. Violent Acres dot com tactfully suggested that I would have been much better off being aborted and called me whiny & self pitying & linked to my blog and I decided to take them down. I did not want a bunch of Violent Acres readers coming over and sneering at me.
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