I never knew any Catholic kids growing up in South Carolina. My first knowledge of them came from some rowdy bar conversations back in the day."Catholic girls suck," said Sam.
"Well, actually, no they don't," said Andy. "That's sort of the problem."
"The problem," explained Sam, "is that they're so pumped with all that hellfire and damnation if you have 'premarital sex' that they can't ever really enjoy themselves."
"Do you want to know the real problem?" I whispered. I beckoned them closer. "You're both lousy lovers."
"Next round's on you, wench!" roared Sam, slapping my knee for emphasis.
"So how's your thing with John, Catholic Boy, coming?" asked Andy.
"Weird-O," I confessed, swigging my beer. "All we do is make out in our underwear. Um, but he is a good kisser."
"Marvelous," snickered Sam. "I'm so happy for you."
So, it's 20 years later, and I have the kids in a multi-ethnic, multi denominational private school because they missed the deadline for kindergarten in public school by 14/28 days. But I had no intention of sending the kids to Catholic school because I have this idea that Catholic kids are weird, uptight, prissy pants.
Marrying a Catholic boy did cure some of that, because he isn't weird or uptight, but still....
(ps. He is a great kisser.)
We have good public schools here. And yet, and yet....
Last fall I attended a party at the home of one of Mad's classmates. The home was tastefully decorated and the children were delightful...every single one a product of private school education.
I looked around at the parents, all colors, shapes, sizes, religions, and economic status. But they all had one thing in common. They were intelligent, well spoken, courteous, and obviously very involved in their children's upbringing.
Suddenly it hit me. Maybe I should send the kids to private school past the 3rd grade that is offered in the current school....
Sheez! Can we afford it? If we start, does that mean we can't ever go back to public school? What about all the opportunities available in the wealthy public schools around here?
But yet...Madeleine is a peanut. She's so small for her age. Can she make it in a huge, impersonal public school? Or am I simply projecting my own fears onto her?
And...the most affordable option is Catholic school. Scratch that--the ONLY option, if we go private, is Catholic. The only non-Catholic private schools are way beyond our budget.
Now let's talk about Hell.
I want my kids to walk the line, and shotguns and chastity belts are on the table here, but I do not want them making sexual and reproductive choices based on a fear of Hellfire.
If only a note would drop down from Heaven telling me what to do. God? Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. (My first name. Title of a book by Judy Blume)
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10 comments:
what...no lutheran schools there....not quite so hell fire-ish. connor goes to one. kris
Some Catholic schools have changed quite a bit. No fire or brimstone. My friend who has a 10-year old (adopted Chinese) daughter said that it is difficult to change schools once they have established themselves. Her daughter switched in the 3rd grade and the transition was very difficult on many levels. So, I would check all of your options out and go with your intuition.
Marla
Hi - found you through Julie's blog, and had to chime in immediately. ;-) I went to Catholic school in North Carolina while living in the US (age 9-12) and loved it. The Nuns were fantastic, and they had some "secular" teachers as well. No hellfire or brimstone to be heard. They did go to Church two hours a month, but as a heathen, I was excused.
Good memories.
In my humble considered opinion, private school is an excellent way to go. Small class sizes, more individual attention, expanded curriculum, that sort of thing. My kids go to a "wealthy" SC public school, but I wish they could go to our local"Lowcountry Day School" but Hoooo Wheee! Expensive for three boys. And I sorta need both kidneys right now (hmmmm, but maybe my husband doesn't). It seems as though once you attend the ranks of private school, you're less apt to make the transition to public- unless of course they hike up tuition quite a bit- that's the usual inspiration to move to public schooling.
We went parochial after a disasterous time in public school. Smaller classes, more diversity, more intense schoolwork, and a much calmer and cleaner environment. The extra protestant education I give them in the off-time is worth the effort. They are learning all types of beliefs, and that's OK.
And picking out clothes is much easier!
I have my kids in a Catholic school and there is no talk of hellfire (I always thought that was the Baptists)... rather the focus is, "finding your place in God's world" which I think is really beautiful... especially considering that our President thinks it is his world and everyone else thinks it is Paris Hilton's.
There is a large emphasis on MANNERS (shocker) and the teachers really get to know the kids...
In fact, the school community was so excited and supportive of our family and our journey to our daughter that they have forever endeared themselves to us,
[First, a disclaimer: I went to Catholic school in New Zealand, and things might be a bit different there. Also, I haven't been a church-attending Catholic for about 20 years.]
Catholic schooling changed a lot in the mid-60's, after they held a conference known as Vatican II [Son of Vatican, perhaps?]. It de-emphasised the Hellfire stuff and put the emphasis more on community, respect, good works, etc.
I attended Catholic girls schools for 13 years (early 70's til mid 80's) and only ever heard about the 'Sex is not an Option' stuff from very, very elderly nuns (who were probably unaware of doctrinal changes).
And I think your gorgeous girls rock. If you think this might be a good option for them you're probably right and hell, you'll only have to go to Mass twice a month, yeah?!
No idea about Catholic schools--I went to a public elementary school where everyone was very religious and other children were scandalized by my lack of church attendance--always cornering me in bathrooms to tell me that their youth groups were praying for me, and such.
I think there was enough of a dialogue about religion going on at home that I was able to look at the school goings-on critically and make my own decisions. I am sure your delightful girls will have no problems thinking for themselves, as well.
By the way, I am new here, and I adore your blog.
That is SO not how the Catholic schools are here. They are waaaayyy more laid back. And, yes, I AM planning to send my kids to Catholic school.
Not to invalidate your view of Catholic schools (even though I gather you didn't attend one) like any public or private school, you will find they run the spectrum from great to horrible. There are something like 20 million Catholics in the world, so you can't really generalize about them, hellfire issues or their schools any more than any other segment of society.
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