Y'all remember Son of Sam?
Ok, I'm showing my age, but this guy terrorized New York City back in 1977 or so, killing a bunch of innocent people.
His excuse? He was taking orders from a big black dog named Sam.
Well, Madeleine is, I'm afraid, taking orders from an adorable young friend of hers named Darienne.
Darienne and Madeleine are best buddies.
Darienne apparently has almost mystical powers over her young followers.
I first began to suspect the "SOSS" (Son of Sam Syndrome) when Madeleine came home with a carefully preserved lock of Darienne's hair. She labeled it and taped it to a piece of paper.
When I quizzed her about it, she explained that Darienne had distributed locks of her hair to her followers for good luck and to remember her by during those long, lonely evenings without her presence.
Well--OKAY THEN!!!
Two days ago, Madeleine gets into the car and excitedly announces that Darienne has decreed that they will be forming a ROCK BAND. (Somebody watched "School of Rock" over the weekend). The name of the band is "Rock Angels" and Mad will be playing the electric guitar. They will be rehearsing twice a week at Darienne's grandmother's place of business.
Meredith was originally assigned to take tickets, but after hysterical pleading, was promoted to drummer.
Well--OKAY THEN!!
.....The next thing I know, Madeleine comes parading out in a pair of jeans that were drawn with strange symbols. For you see, Darienne had decreed that ROCKERS MUST HAVE DECORATED JEANS.
I was awarded "coolest mom" award today, as Madeleine proudly informed me that all of her friends had drawn on their jeans too, and their moms had all had conniption fits, and I was cool with it. (shrug) They're from last year--old, worn, and too short jeans, so whatever.
Tonight was the last straw! (Wait--there's a joke here! Just wait for it!!!)
Roger just showed me a treasure trove of straws.
Darienne has decreed that all of her friends must save their drink straws for her.
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13 comments:
You just shut your sarcastic mouth about Darianne! When she takes her throne to rule the universe you will all pay! There will be neither straws nor protective locks of hair for you! You will slave for the all powerful Darianne, running her fog machine for the Rock Angels and finding creative ways of decorating the jeans of the true belivers!
Rule on Darianne!
Yikes! I have an 8-year old son (and a toddler daughter) and watching my friends deal with their girl-children's complicated social lives (who's in, who's out) just scares the hell out of me. The boys, they run in packs and shove each other around a bit. The girls started playing favorites at about three.
I'm just dreading it!
Darienne does not like it when you mock her and Darienne knows you are withholding straws. Do not make Darienne come over there.
You know - they're never too young for anti-psychotic medications.
(Okay, I realize as my first comment here you might not realize it but I'm totally kidding! Darianne made me say it)
CluelessCarloina and Brunhildecrow, I am peeing my pants laughing.
Congrats on the "coolest mom" award! That makes it all worth it. PLUS Darianne giving you blog fodder.
And the scary thing is that Darianne is 38 years old living in my neighborhood.
Marla
Darianne? Even her name makes her sound like a cult leader. Run for the hills! Take your kids and your drinking straws with you.
Seriously, do they even allow people to name their kids "Darianne" in the Carolinas? 'Cause that's just weird is all I'm saying.
Oh, I just thought of this: Sooner or later, that kid is going to be known as "derrierre." Now that is funny.
Someone very wise and divine approved her homestudy, that's who!
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