Building A Family

The internet is now populated with blogs devoted to family building.

How do you do that? Can you use Legos?

There is all sorts of ways to build a family and in the process subject your new family to intense hatred, criticism and disapproval!!!!

Infertility Treatment: Infertile people who wish to try to replicate their DNA are selfish, obsessive egomaniacs who spend a disproportionate part of the world's resouces buying another Hummer for their reproductive specialists.

Domestic Adoption: Exploiting poor unwed mothers who could raise the child themselves, thereby avoiding a Primal Wound.

International Transracial Adoption: Kidnapping children of another culture because you're too vain and lazy to give birth yourself or don't want the "defective" children available locally.

Domestic Transracial Adoption: No white person of privilege could possibly understand the cultural needs of a baby from another race. You just want to show off how "liberal" you are while in the meantime dooming your child to a lifetime of alienation.

Single parents: Every child needs a mother AND a father, even if the alternative is a lifetime in an orphanage or in dreadful conditions. Why don't you spend the time and money you're spending to adopt to look for a spouse, already?

Gay parents: What can I say, you're all going to Hell anyway. If you're a gay single parent, there's a special room on reserve that's extra hot.

And the very worse, worse thing you can possibly do is:

Try to make a baby the old fashioned way--in the back seat of a car after a liberal dose of Boone's Farm. How dare you, when there are so many homeless orphans who need a home?