I just went to the eye doctor and I feel both exhilarated, blind, and frustrated.
Let's explore, shall we?
First of all, I am nearsighted. Very, very, very nearsighted. So nearsighted that I can't see the biggest E without my glasses. I see a big blob.
Secondly, I've always been told that eventually as I aged my eyes would begin to improve, and my prescription would start climbing upwards instead of down.
When you're nearsighted, your vision correction is measured in numbers. The higher the numbers, the more nearsighted you are. Madeleine's 12 and already at -3.75 in her left eye and -2.5 in her right eye. That's exactly where I was at her age.
I can't wear contacts because of dry eye syndrome, but obviously I snatch off glasses at every photo shoot. They make my eyes look tiny because my prescription is so bad, and cause nasty reflections.
Here's an old picture of me wearing glasses, back when you were in danger of them eating your face.
And, as you can plainly see, I'm not a natural blonde. I'm a natural gray-brown-looks-like-old-dishwater type.
But here I am, no makeup, with glasses on, holding a copy of one of my very favorite books by one of my very favorite people!
The book is titled Cupcakes, Lies and Dead Guys and is written by the fabulous and talented Pamela DuMond.
This is not a sponsored post, by the way. (That's a library book). I set up an Amazon affiliate thing, but I haven't figured out how to make it work, so even if you go buy the book from my link I won't get a dime, so don't worry--this is totally from the heart.
It's a wonderful book. If you like Janet Evanovich, you'll like this book.
So I have to brag. I dragged my blind self to the eye doctor, believing--really, honestly and truly believing--that I would FINALLY be told that yes, young lady (chuckle), your eyes are now getting better.
Instead--my left eye, uncorrected is now LEGALLY BLIND. -7.5 left, -6.5 right.
That means that I have actually found the fountain of youth. I'm getting younger all the time.
Pretty soon, Roger will be told that he has a lovely daughter. I won't even go to the next step, because he does read this blog, and I'd like to continue living my young life.
Now, if you want to learn how to stay vibrantly youthful like me, all you have to do is send me $49.99 via paypal, credit card, clam shells, cashier's check, homemade etsy creations, homemade organic food, or spare change....and I will send you a copy of my book, "How To Infuriate Your Old High School Classmates At Reunions Without Having To Pay Your Best Friend's Son To Accompany You."
Or you could just keep on reading.
My secret is simple. Stay inside the house, reading books until you begin to turn into a mushroom and/or develop bedsores. Then shift position and continue reading books.
Thank you, and I trust that your check will soon be in the mail.
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