In fact, she insulted my children.
She made a "joke" about how she now understands why some mothers in China keep their children. I guess she was implying that bad, ugly, ill-behaved children were placed on the sidewalk by their mother who then walked away. Holy heck, that happened to MY KIDS! So they ended up in an impoverished orphanage in a third world country. AND GUESS WHAT!!!! WE DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!! WE ADOPTED THEM!!! IT COST MORE THAN MY YEARLY SALARY!!!!!!
Not that I'm looking for accolades. I did it for exactly one purely selfish reason: We wanted kids. I'm not going to pretend for one minute that any thoughts of charity crossed my mind. The group of families we traveled with did take up a collection and we used the money to buy the orphanage a washing machine and an air conditioner (honest).
But as always I do want to make myself crystal clear that we owe China a debt that can never be repaid for allowing us the privilege and honor of adopting two children.
Anyway, back to Sensitive, Caring, Crusader Dooce. Now--oh---now---you're sensitive and caring. I'm sure the women in Bangladesh appreciate it. And you've called your flying monkeys out to attack Anna. I'm not too worried about Anna. She can take care of herself. And you've had a fit and promised revenge against that lady in Merrie Old England who wrote a mild little piece on poverty tourism.
I bet that lady in England is trembling in fear that you'll get her fired!!! Maybe The Guardian will send you a washing machine and take the money out of her paycheque....
But I'm a little puzzled.
Did you do it for all the poor people that you got to see and write about while frolicking around your million dollar mansion with your assistants?
Did you do it for all the people that cruel, twisted Anna has "attacked"? Should they send a gift card?
Did you do it because of that nasty ol' woman in England and all of the gloriously crabby commenters Over There?
Does the Dooce Army need to refight the American Revolution?
You've had your little temper tantrum on Twitter. Do you feel better? Have you had your much needed margarita yet? Are you deeply moved by all the non A-listers rushing to your defense hoping they can sit with the cool girls at the next conference?
I was trying to think of a way to sum this up. But an eloquent friend gave me permission to quote her, so I won't say "Dooce Sucks" because that's childish and I do not hate Dooce. I hate people who kill other people. I hate people who have put money in their pockets that was given in good faith by people who wanted their contribution to go to the dinner plates and water glasses of people in impoverished nations. I think Dooce needs a great deal of help. I'll end with:
The grossness is that she says there's nothing significant she, in all her self-righteous glory, or we, the plebes she deigns to address, can do while simultaneously implying that she recently and personally received a large, unrelated sum of money from Yahoo to generate a Federated Media sponsorship of a post wherein Yahoo promises to donate another large undisclosed sum of money to an as-yet-undecided charity.
As readers, she tells us we cannot hope to personally influence change in Bangladesh or elsewhere, but instead we should 'click here' to change our browser home page to yahoo for the sheer and sole purpose of demonstrating her personal influence on the grand state of shit that doesn't fucking matter.....she's flaming out on Twitter because she's fueled with a special blend of hypocrisy accelerant.
Her flying monkeys make me want to vomit.
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