Times they blew the IV insertion: Four
Times they couldn't get blood out: One
Times I bawled my eyes out: Twenty-seven
I mean, there was this elderly gentleman next to me getting chemotherapy for cancer, and here I am still relatively healthy, with no life threatening disease, just one that is (currently) RUINING my life, and....well, let me just say THIS: when I am old and dying my children will be exchanging bitter emails about what a PITA they have for a mother and is the paltry inheritance I'll be leaving them REALLY worth it, because I obviously don't have the wherewithal to be a cheery good sport about waking up every day and swallowing ginormous amount of medical substances and still having achy-breaky legs and.....let's talk about the KIDS!!!
Here is Madeleine. Madeleine completed the third grade with the usual accolades: GENIUS! FABULOUS!! OMG!!! We attended the end of school awards ceremony yesterday and she wore a hole in her shoe parading up and down collecting papers. Naturally in today's Culture Of Self Esteem every child received numerous awards for things like clipping their cuticles properly and breathing on cue from every teacher at the school. I poked Roger and wondered if the janitor, I mean Sanitation Engineer, was going to get up and present awards for Best Wiper and Most Judicious Use Of Paper Towels, and he shifted uncomfortably and moved several inches away from me.
So Madeleine has the following:
Best Data Helper (computer lab)
Highest Average-Spelling
Highest Average-Reading
Highest Average-Language Arts
Highest Average-Math
A/B Honor Roll (Missed the A roll by a "B" in Social Studies. The lazy little genius had to actually study for the first time and seemed amazed that every single fact in the world wouldn't automatically jump into her brain after a cursory perusal of the information.) She earnestly attempted to explain that she felt that she was suffering from "short term memory loss" which earned my award to her for:
Best Excuse For Laziness
And the lovely lady above is Meredith. I can't get Blogger to separate the pictures, so what-EVAH.Meredith's evaluation read: Meredith is consistent in all her work. Her reading continues to improve along with her grasp of new math concepts. She has shown great improvement in her writing skill in her cursive writing. She seems to enjoy it much more now.
There was just one tiny thing missing from the report: PROMOTED TO SECOND GRADE.
Yep, she's being held back. Or, if you want to know what they called in back in the old days, SHE FLUNKED FIRST GRADE.
It's ok. She won't be 7 until September 28, and she is really struggling with reading. I am in complete agreement with the decision.
She's not happy with herself though. Don't tell me that kids don't put pressure on themselves. She is one of those kids who tries at all times to do her very best and really has to try, unlike some people in the family (see: Lazy Genius). We're pumping sunshine up her as fast as we can, but every time we cheerfully praise her for her hard work and achievement, she sighs sadly and her lip trembles.
And that is the way things are around Chez Clueless.
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12 comments:
It can be really hard when you have an older sister who is 'perfect'. I can remember being amazed at how different my children were from each other and trying to figure out how to make sure they don't compare themselves with each other. You have my sympathy as you deal with two wonderful girls who are not identical.
Go easy on yourself; there's no way around the big suck that is not feeling well. Think of the tears as lubrication for your emotional machine. Remind me to tell you about the time I came raging out of the dentist's chair because the hygenist was causing me eeny weenie little owies on my teeth with the ultrasound thing. Pain does wierd things to us all.
Best wiper? OK, that's frickking outstanding.
Good on both your girls for their work. My sister and I had the same deal: I skated on everything and she, with her dyslexia, had to fight for ANYthing. Thing is, I goofed off in college, got a truly rotten GPA and am fifteen years behind her as far as being set for retirement, pay, perks, etc. So sometimes the turtle DOES win in the end because the hare dinks around waiting for stuff to come "easy"...
I'm hopeful you'll be feeling better in the next few weeks. I know it's not a snap of the fingers and all will be better.
And the new "fun phrase" herebouts for being held back is "redshirt". A co-worker or Wifey purposely held back her 3 year old. And so, they call him a "redshirt three year old".
I don't know whether to laugh or be indignant.
Madeline will be OK. Its better to repeat first grade than to repeat, say, 6th grade when you've got long friendships riding on it. And I found out recently that MOST of the kids in Princess' class are a year older because their parents held them back in kindergarten, in order to give them an advantage. Might help explain her lousy grades.
Um, could you perhaps tell Miss Meredith a slight untruth and say that she is just too young to go to second grade? Or is it too late for that? Are there other kids in her class who are doing 1st Grade, the Sequel? It might make her feel better if not everyone else is going on to 2nd grade. Poor kid. It probably wouldn’t suck so much if Big Sister wasn’t such a freakin’ genius! Highest average in 4 subjects? DANG! Perhaps Miss Smarty Pants could start tutoring Baby Sister in reading!
Glad to hear you’re starting to feel better. Get a good grip on that plate – it’s pretty full!
Donna
I flunked kindergarden. Well, not totally-- my school had a whole extra calss (called "transition") for the select few who didn't need K again, but were not ready for 1. There are lots of us out there, and she will eventually learn that it's no biggie.
Makes me glad that my child has one more year of preschool, about which I have been whining endlessly of course, but she doesn't turn 5 until 9/27 and the cutoff here is 9/1, so no kindergarden until she is about to turn 6! From all the stories I've heard, yours included, it will be a good thing.
What everyone told me to think about: not K, but high school. Do you want you kid to be the youngest kid in the class, or the oldest? In HS, I'd say oldest is better.
Oh bless her heart. Best hold her back now as opposed to 6th or 7th grade. It still smarts though. Keep the sunshing pumping.
Beverly
I had to re-do 3rd grade. Tough year for me as my father died the same year after a short bout with cancer.
One of the things my mother did was send me to a different school for the next year and when I returned to my old school, most of the kids didn't really remember who I was or that I was in their grade at one time - and that was 3rd grade!
Hope that helps!
Teresa
If there's one thing that I realized after years of infertility treatments, it's that medical test and interventions suck. Big time. Even if it's not life threatening, there's something raw and emotional about the vulnerability that is exposed by repeated trips to the doctor or hospital. Add me to the ranks of future PITAs, cause I can't imagine how cranky I'm going to be with the chronic health conditions that come with being old. (Hopefully I make it that far AND don't develop any chronic conditions before then!)
As for the kiddos, yay for Madeleine! And how hard for Meredith! I agree with what the other posters said about this not being the end of the world or a reflection of her future, though. Just one of those things. Poor kid-- give her a hug from your totally unknown in real life blog reader...okay, maybe don't, that's creepy. But I feel for her.
I, like you, have two daughters - mine were both adopted at birth - and the older one (by three years) is definitely the over-achiever. The younger is not academically gifted like her sister, and had to do first grade twice. I am in agreement with the other poster who said switching schools was a good idea for her. We were fortunate that the year my child was held back was the same year the school boundaries were redrawn, and both girls were transfered to a new school (we live on the edge of the then-new boundary, so not many of their classmates went along). That was a stroke of luck for us, as there wasn't the issue of her having to see her old classmates and friends in second grade, while she was in first again. I don't know if it's at all practical for Merideth to have that kind of experience, but it was really a saving grace for my child.
lorrie
thanks for sharing the health info. I am heading to the doctor next week to ask why I have had almost all of these symptoms for years and my thyroid test have not reflected a problem.
Also, thanks for the update on the girls. We too are holding back our daughter adopted last year from China. She is a hard worker, but we want her to not feel pressure to keep up with the other kids. She is athletic and gung ho and we don't want her confidence and spirit dampened. Besides - she is starting Montessori school in August and they dont give report cards !!!
Amanda - Mommie Doris
Aw, poor Meredith. I agree though, if she won't be 7 until September there's no good reason not to give 1st grade another go--especially in a fresh, new school. So chin up, little girl!
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