If you had happened to ask me at 12:01 AM Saturday if I thought consenting adults should be allowed to formalize their union in the eyes of the law, I would have looked up from my computer and said, "Um, oh yeah, whatever, sure, but why? After all married people pay much more in taxes. Hey, can I have some of that dip? And will you stop talking abstract philosophy and hang some freaking party decorations already?"WRITTEN SATURDAY EVENING
Phone rings at 12:02 am. It's Roger's mother. Not too surprised since she's a night owl, but never THIS late.
"It's an emergency! John just died!"
"WHAT?"
Roger's youngest brother Mark is gay. His partner of..oh..16-17 years...John..age 40... Just. Keeled. Over. And. Died. 40 years old.
Mark was on the phone with John's mother chatting. He walked into the kitchen to get a drink and found his partner dead on the floor. Mark called John's mother back, she speeds over the the house, sees her son, faints, and goes to the hospital in an ambulance. The paras can do nothing for John.
He is dead.
Roger flies over to their house. The coroner is there. They're waiting for the Body People. John is lying on the floor. 2 hours later the Body People show up and load John's mortal remains into a bag and take him out the door on a stretcher.
They did an autopsy this morning . It was an enlarged heart, although he had a physical 2 years ago and did fine on the stress test.
We are awaiting the guests for Mad's first slumber party. We cleaned the house, I baked a homemade cake and decorated it, visited Mark, and now the party.
The most frustrating thing is that Mark can't even legally take a second of bereavement leave since he isn't any "relation" to John. However, fortunately, he works for the post office and I'm sure he can line up some time off, but.....how awful, when your lover of 16-17 years dies and you're not even given the dignity of formal bereavement leave.
Thank God that Mark and John's mom are the very best of friends, because Mark and John never signed any of the documents that I offered to prepare for them protecting their legal rights.
Roger is one of seven kids. Six weddings have been celebrated.
Mark's first church ceremony will be Tuesday.
He will bury the love of his life.
Posts
13 comments:
I'm so terribly sorry.
It sounds like the individuals in your BIL's life will respect his loss but I agree that we all deserve the same legal protections regardless of sexual orientation.
My goodness. I am so terribly sorry to hear of your family's loss. It is very tragic - on so many levels.
Absolutely tragic. And yes, it does bring home the necessity of legalizing marriage for all consenting adults. What a sad state of affairs for your brother-in-law.
this made me cry.
it makes me sick that Mark and John could not get married if they choce to. Sick. We live in a ridiculous place, this world.
I am so sorry. Please give my condolences to Roger and Mark and the whole family. How dreadfully sad for you all.
and I can't type. Chose to. Married if they chose to.
Heartbreaking. Just absolutely heartbreaking. I think Brad and Angie, despite the media brouhaha, have a point. We'll all get married when EVERYONE is allowed to get married. I'm just a mess over this.
I am so sorry for your brother-in-law and your family. Words are inadequate for something so sad and shocking.
We have dear friends who celebrated their 25 [or was it 26th?] year as a couple. And yet they can't get "married." Like your brother-in-law, their "marriage" has lasted longer than most of the straight people we know.
Maybe we should be allowing gay marriage just so they can set a good example for the rest of us......
I am so sorry. I am also so saddened by this. The laws have got to change. I think they will, eventually. Younger people (18-30) that I talk to don't seem to have a problem with gay relationships as much. I think because they have known people like Mark and John they realize they are normal and their relationship is real.
I speak up for sam sex marriage whenever I get the chance.
That is just so sad. I'm sorry.
So sorry.
I'm so sorry for your family. A death so young is an amazing shock to everyone.
And, yes, I'd like to change the laws, too.
I'm terribly sorry for your family's loss. How shocking and sad.
I am so sorry.
Post a Comment